I found the knife and slit the boxes open that had Justin’s name.With nothing else to do, I leaned back against the bench, watching my patient now at a fast walk on the treadmill.His balance was good, nothing jarring the hand with the cast.Justin was focused on the gauge in front of him, mind gone to wherever he went when he worked out.Back then he’d said it was Zen-like, brain mostly turned off, body going through familiar movements.
The shirt he was wearing had the sleeves cut out, and it showed a faded Blaze logo in red on the well-worn fabric.The gray looked like it had been black at one time.His sweat shorts were also gray, unbranded.
His legs, with thick thighs and tightly muscled calves, flexed as he moved, the shorts showing off the big hockey ass that puck bunnies admired.His biceps bulged as his arms pumped back and forth in time with his strides.Sweat started to dampen the shirt.
I tore my gaze away.I wasn’t here to ogle the hockey player.Or to compare the young man I’d known all those years ago to this somber man in front of me, focused on his workout.
I shoved my hands in the pockets of my scrub bottoms.Maybe I needed this time together.To acknowledge the differences between then and now.Back then, he’d been a hockey prospect, kid of a wealthy family, but ordinary and kind.My family had never been perfect but we’d mostly had our shit together back then, except for Mom’s health.My dream had been to become a doctor, with letters after my name and a profitable career.
Now, he was a successful professional athlete.I, or anyone else, could look up how many millions he made a year.I’d seen the photos of his ex-wife—she was beautiful.Justin had fans, money, and a sister who would do anything for him.
I was a single mom, barely holding it together, hanging on tightly to our family budget with both hands.Other than Arne and my mother, I wasn’t sure anyone in the family would miss me if I wasn’t there, except for my paycheck.I’d lost touch with my friends and rarely heard from Arne’s father.
We were in drastically different circles now.
I needed to see Justin as he was now.Solidify the knowledge that we had nothing in common.Because watching him on the treadmill was bringing up some long-buried memories.
My plate was full.I had no room for more shit.
Chapter14
I’ll Hold Him Down for You
Justin
Mia and Arne left just before five.Arne was antsy, worried about missing his soccer game.I reminded Mia that they could leave early.
The house was suddenly quiet without the kid’s chatter.Sharleen and I had never gotten to the having-children stage, and I had no nephews or nieces.At team events, kids had never gravitated to me.This was the most time I’d spent with a rug rat since I’d been one.
I kind of liked it.Also, there’d been less tension with Arne around.Too bad he couldn’t come every day.
In the kitchen, a pot of chicken stew was warm on the stove.Mia had put half of what she’d made in a microwavable container and left it cooling.I wasn’t supposed to do anything more than put the lid on and place it in the fridge, in case I might spill it.If I did, I’d damn well clean it up so she’d never know.
The rest I was allowed to serve myself for dinner.I was sure that I could balance a plate on my cast and get it to the table, but if I couldn’t, I would just eat it from the pot.My grandmother tsked at me, but that was just a memory.No one was here.
Restless and not happy with my own company, I called Fitch.
“JJ!How are things going?”
“Good.You got to California okay?”
“Yep.I’d missed seeing the ocean.”
“How was the drive?”
“Not bad.Some amazing scenery, and I listened to a couple of books.I get behind on my reading during the season.”
That was an idea.I could get some audiobooks to keep me occupied.It was strange to be in the offseason, with more time on my hands, without my teammates and Jess to keep me occupied.
“Heard from your ex?”Because of Mia, I had exes on the brain and wondered how things were going with his.
“Not yet.How’s it going with your ghost?”
I stirred the stew before settling in a kitchen chair with a glass of water.“She was here today.Working as my team babysitter.”
“You’re shitting me.”
“Nope.”I filled him in on the problems I’d had with the previous aides.