Of course I know what this means.
When you’re at the end of your tether, that’s when you hear God’s voice most clearly, and so of course I know this is all Him, asking me gently to take a deep breath. Pause. And spend time with Him.
I find myself walking with wobbly legs even as a part of me is struggling against this.
Tick-tock, Kitty! Aren’t we in a hurry? So why waste time with this sh—
The moment I realize I hadalmostcussed in my mind when I’ve never been the type to cuss before—
Well, big mistake there, Devil.
I never wanted to think he was real, but he obviously was, and I’m all the more determined to reach for the Bible now. It was given to me two years ago by Aimee, the local church volunteerat the hospital. She had visited me on the first day of my confinement, and when she learned that I’ve never had a Bible my whole life, she had come back on my last day to give me this.
It feels so much heavier in my hands, and my tears start falling faster as I finally open the box and take the Bible out for the first time.
There's a card tucked inside the front cover. Handwritten. Small, careful letters on cream-colored paper.
Dear Kitty,
May His Words be a lamp to your feet, and a light to your path, just as they were to me, once upon a time.
Who am I? — A new creation (2 Cor 5:17)
How much? — For a price (1 Cor 7:23)
Why should I? — Because He did it first. (Luk 22:42)
What now? — You're still in His hand. (Jer 18:4)
Can I? — If He is your strength. (Phi 4:13)
Until when? — To the end of the age. (Mat 28:20)
Where next? — Wherever He is. (Ruth 1:16)
Your sister in Christ,
Aimee
I start to laugh as I finish reading them. I wanted this Bible to help mestopthinking of Dr. Collington, but the first page alone...
It's like finding out Aimee is nothing but Dr. Collington's twin since everything she's just written is another form of verbal sudoku.
They make no sense at all, and yet I still find myself opening to one of the tabbed pages, and I see a highlighted verse.
1 John 4:19
We love because He first loved us.
Oh, if only.
If only it would start making sense.
But none of the words are reaching my heart, and yet I still find myself flipping to another tabbed page, and—
Luke 22:42
Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me. Nevertheless, not My will, but Yours, be done.