“Bitch?!”
She laughs again, then lets out a sigh of her own. “So you’re thinking about the twin, Silas,right?”
“Yeah, I guess that’sit.”
“What do you want? What does hewant?”
“We haven’t gotten thatfar.”
“Oh. Avoiding that dreaded conversation. What are we? Where do wego?”
“That’s not it. He’s… he’s interesting. I don’t think they make guys like this in thecity.”
“Yeah, I know how that goes. Trustme.”
“He doesn’t—he’s very in the moment. I feel like other dudes I’ve met feed you so much bullshit just to get you on theirroster.”
“Yup.”
“But Silas is like—I don’t feel like he’s trying to put one over on me. I don’t feel like he’s gonna pull off some mask and show the realman.”
“Ormonster.”
“Yeah.” I look out over the yard. The sun is setting and the temperature is starting to drop. Mason has switched to another song I can’t name. Morty is sniffing around the grass and Honeycrisp is sniffing around Silas’s truck. He was right about the bugs. I can see them swarming around, but they are giving me a wide berth. Everything feels so still, beyond Mason’s beautiful music, there’s just the hum of nature that I’ve only experienced a few times in my lifebefore.
“I don’t know how to dothis.”
“Do what?” sheasks.
“Start things. Continue things. Not with otherpeople.”
“It sounds like it already started though, and it sounds like his expectations of the situation are pretty low,right?”
“I don’tknow.”
“And you’re afraid toask?”
“He defines no bullshit. I’m not used to that. My whole life isbullshit.”
“No, it’snot.”
“Right now I’m working on a case where two different white men are fighting over how they can pay poor brown people less to transport goods made by other poor brown people who make even less. How is that notbullshit?”
“You know what I did last week? I sat in a three hour meeting about maxi dresses. Three hours. I know the importance of a good maxi, but I certainly did not cure cancer in that three hours. Don’t beat yourself up for doing your job. And don’t let him make you feel like you should be beating yourselfup.”
“No, no, he’s not like that. He’s—he’s not asking me for anything.” When I hear myself say it, I know that’s the issue. I can actually feel it. For the first time in my life, I have a man who doesn’t make me feel like he wants the slightest thing from me except my company. That feeling rises in my chest. It brings some tears with it, but I fight them back. “He’seasy.”
“Well if you like him, Scott can’t say boo about it, baby. He’s not the boss of Liz Lewis. The rest you’ll just have to roll with. I wish I could tell your romantic future, but Ican’t.”
A tear leaks out of my eye, and I brush the rest that try to follow itaway.
“Has there been any news from the cops or anyone?” Claudia asks. She doesn’t hide the desperation in her tone verywell.
“No. I’m not staying here much longer. I’m thinking about driving to Dorrit’s house down in Jersey and just telling him to come at mebro.”
“Shep and I will come with you!” she sayscheerfully.
“I love youguys.”