“I saw what marriage did to my parents. Or rather, the divorce. It was nasty, El.” A haunted look cooled the warmth in his gaze. “By the time it was done, the two people I loved most in this world had somehow turned into these hateful humans I barely recognized. How a couple that started out as much in love as anyone I’ve known could become so jaded…so loathsome to one another…I don’t know. I guess I just figured it was safer keeping things—”
“Casual,” she finished for him with a nod. “No, I get it.”
“You do?” This seemed to surprise him.
“Yeah, I mean…my parents broke up when I was young. Thankfully, their divorce wasn’t as tumultuous as your parents’, but that’s only because my dad did what he always had, and gave my mother exactly what she wanted.” She bit her bottom lip to keep it from quivering from the memories. “Now my mom’s living in Hawaii with husband number four…I’m sorry,five…and my dad…” Her voice cracked at the mention of her father. “He, uh…he died of a heart attack less than a year after they split.”
The doctors blamed a sedentary lifestyle and poor diet, but Ellie knew the truth. Her father’s death wasn’t caused by high cholesterol or too many carbs.
My father died of a broken heart.
And that was her greatest fear. Even more than the terror a serial killer had bestowed upon her, Ellie was terrified she’d grow up to become her mother.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” he offered sincerely.
She gave a small shrug in return. “I guess it’s safe to say neither of us had great role models regarding making relationships work.”
“No, I guess not.” Lucky’s chuckle ran deep.
“So.” Ellie kept her focus lasered onto him. “Where does that leave us?”
“Where, indeed?” He reached up, brushing some wayward strands from her cheek. His fingers sent a rush of shivers down her spine as he gently tucked them behind her ear.
Steeling herself for the possibility of rejection, Ellie sent up a quick prayer and decided to go for broke. “Did you mean what you said earlier? About…wanting me?”
Heat darkened the blues of his needy stare. “Every fucking word. But that’s not the poi—”
Ellie kissed him. Hard. Deep. And very,verythoroughly.
Because, despite what he’d been about to claim, thatwasthe point. The only one that mattered, in fact. And after only the slightest of hesitations, Lucky, well…
He kissed her right back.
Yes!
“Ellie—”
“Shh…” She put a finger to a set of lips she couldn’t seem to get enough of. “No more talking. Not now.”
“But—”
“It doesn’t have to mean anything.” She swallowed, ignoring the unexpected knot the thought created. “I need to feel something other than uncertainty and fear. To escape all the crazy, even if it’s just for tonight. Please, Jason.” His given name felt surprisingly natural on her lips as they feathered slowly across his. “Please make love to me.”
Ellie knew she was shamelessly begging but couldn’t bring herself to care. There’d be time for regret in the morning. For now…
Now, all she wanted—all Ellieneeded—was to lose herself in him.
Chapter 13
Jason.
Not Lucky. Not dumbass or idiot—as he’d heard Ellie call him under her breath more than once. No, she had looked him right in the eyes with her hands pressed against his chest, and she’d called him Jason.
Please, Jason. Please make love to me.
It was the first time she’d used his given name, and damn if Lucky didn’t suddenly want to hear her say it again. And again. And again.
But that part could come later.