Noticing the two place settings already waiting for them, Sophie took her coffee and headed that way. When they were seated, she waited for him to say what he needed to say.
“I was engaged, once.” He dropped the bomb quietly and without much emotion. “I was twenty-eight and Shelby was twenty-six. We were college sweethearts.”
So, ten years ago.
Sophie watched him closely, several scenarios running through her mind at once.
Had he been left at the alter?
Had he leftherat the alter?
Had he found her in the back of the church with her dress hiked up and his best man’s pants around his ankles?
Rather than guess, she decided to ask. “What happened?”
“Everything was perfect.” His broad shoulders shook with a humorless laugh. “I’d been working for Homeland for six months, we’d gotten a really nice apartment in the city, and...” He let his voice trail off for a bit, this next part clearly hard for him to say.
“It’s okay, Jason.” Sophie spoke softly. “You can tell me.”
Pain filled his eyes as he said, “Shelby had just found out she was pregnant. We were ecstatic.”
Oh, god. Something about the way he said it...the way helooked...said this was about more than just a jilted lover.
Drawing in a deep breath, he let it out slowly before continuing on. “Two months before the wedding, I was assigned my first major case with the agency. A caseIwas in charge of. Since Shelby had taken care of the details of the wedding, I worked day and night to help the team bring down one of the country’s top organized crime bosses. A guy who, at the time, was still very much in business.”
Sophie’s heart sunk. This story was definitely not going to end well. Not at all.
“We got him though.” He smirked, though there was disdain shining in his gorgeous eyes. “We got him and his whole crew. And since it was my first big bust, I was able to personally cuff the guy and take him in.”
Something happened after. Something bad.
“Three weeks before the wedding, we’d gone to the tux shop for my final fitting. Shelby insisted on going with me. She wanted to make a day of it. First the fitting, then lunch. After that, we were going to shop for things for the baby’s room.”
Keeping her breathing steady, Sophie waited on pins and needles for him to finish the story.
“We were walking to my car when this blacked-out SUV drove past. I was looking down at my phone, answering a text from my boss when I heard Shelby scream my name.” He blinked quickly, his eyes glistening with unshed tears that broke her heart in two. “She pushed me out of the way, putting herself in the bullet’s path.”
“Oh, Jason.”
“She was dead before she hit the ground. In a split second, I lost her and our baby. I lost...everything.” He sniffed and lifted his coffee mug to his lips.
Sophie suspected the drink he was taking was a way to help stave off the unwanted emotions. She knew this because she’d used the same trick a time or two.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“My fiancée died because she took a bullet meant for me,” he bit out sharply. “My baby never even had a chance because some asshole mob wanna-be thought he could impress the imprisoned boss by taking out the man who put him away.”
“So that’s why you don’t date,” she surmised from her place across the table. “You’re afraid someone will come after you again. And if you allow yourself to become vulnerable by falling in love, then you open yourself up to the pain of losing them.”
“I’ve made a lot of enemies doing my job, Sophie. More than you could count.”
“Yet, you’re still here.”
“But the family I was supposed to have isn’t.” He shot up out of his chair, nearly tipping it over in the process.
Standing slowly, Sophie followed him into the living room. He stood at the large picture window facing the pool. His back was to her, his arms crossed tightly at his chest.
“What you went through was horrific.” She moved closer. Risked putting a hand on his shoulder blade. “I won’t insult you by trying to pretend to understand what that was like for you. But when I think of what you do, of the lives you save every single day... Those lives are invaluable, but they shouldn’t come at the cost of your own.”