I scoff. “Because his best friend was a bear, duh.”
“You’d choose a bear over people?”
“Wouldn’t you?”
“Good point.” He squeezes my hand. “Though bears don’t take you dancing or bring you breakfast in bed.”
My tummy warms. “True,” I say slowly. Though the only time someone’s brought me breakfast in bed was when I had the flu and Dad brought me soda crackers and 7-up. And the only person to ever take me dancing is Maryanne.
CJ turns into my neighborhood, and the silence turns charged. “Does your dad know you’re out with me tonight?”
I look out the window. “I didn’t lie about it.”
“So…no?” There’s no malice in his tone, but there’s an edge of emotion I can’t place.
Tiny claws of panic chew up my spine. “I’m still figuring things out.”
“Figuring what out?”
“After that night at the Sweetwater, I didn’t expect you’d want…more.”
He utters a soft curse. “That’s my fault. I shouldn’t have let you go.” His sincere gaze is steady, but there’s hurt shining there too. “Because I wanted more the minute I saw you. Even after tonight. When it comes to you, I keep wanting more. But if you’re saying you’re not ready, I need to know why.”
I gulp in a breath. “That you work with Dad isn’t ideal.”
He turns onto my street, which looks freshly plowed. “So if I didn’t, you’d be okay telling him?”
“It would be easier,” I admit. “Wouldn’t it be easier for you too?”
“I honestly don’t give a fuck.”
Now I’ve done it. He’s mad and it’s my fault. My overthinking, quirky brain at work. Again. “I’ll tell him. I just…need a little time.”
He pulls into my driveway, his headlights sweeping past Dad’s Ford to the house, where a light is on in the kitchen. Is Dad up? I feel like I’m sixteen again, coming home from my first-ever date with Bobby Sutton. He tried to kiss me, and I was so eager I accidentally bit his ear. Needless to say he brought me home early and I was so embarrassed I stayed in my room for the rest of the weekend.
“I’ll walk you in, and we can both talk to him.” To my horror, CJ parks the truck and steps out.
I fly from my seat and hurry to cut him off. Icy snow whirls around my face, sticking to my lashes. “CJ, no.” My tone comes out pleading and too sharp. “Let me handle it.”
He’s already got one hand on the gate, and his shoulders sag. “Is this about Nathan?” He turns to face me, his silver eyes tense with frustration. “Because I’m not him.”
“I know.” I rock up and kiss his cheek, savoring the warmth of his skin and his fresh cotton scent for an instant before I spin away and slip through the gate. But as I hurry up the porch steps, my thoughts swirl like the snow whipping past my hot face.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“This isn’tthe dark ages, man,” Bear says as I dump the box of macaroni into the pot of boiling water. “You don’t need permission to date each other.”
“He’s still my boss.” I give the pasta a stir then set the timer and lean back against the counter. I should be on my way to the Methodist church for the AA meeting I promised to attend, but I took Jasper on a ride to clear my head then dawdled instead.
“So? You’re the best thing that’s ever gonna happen to his daughter. If he doesn’t see that, he’s not as smart as you say.”
The steel band around my chest softens a little. “Now who’s flirting?”
“It’s true, asshole.”
I laugh, but it feels hollow. Just becausehisdate wanted to stay the night and into the next day doesn’t mean I’m somehow lacking. Building the life I want isn’t going to happen overnight.
“She thinks we should slow down.” The words are so bottled up after my phone call with Linnea earlier that they come out in a rush.