“As a kid, I’d dread spring because of lambing season.” He flips on his wipers.
“But lambs are so cute,” I say with what I’m sure are hearts in my eyes.
He snorts. “They’re also a fuckton of work.”
“I’ll bet.” I’m also betting he was just as cute as those lambs. Maybe he’s got pictures somewhere. “But you’re not a sheep rancher now, so maybe you can stop hating spring.”
“I don’t hate it.” He offers his hand again and I slip mine inside it. My favorite season is fall. It’s when my dad and I used to go hunting together. It’s when Grams would do all her canning and jam making and bake pumpkin bread and her famous apple pies. It’s when fire season would wrap and I’d be flush with cash after hoarding it all season long. It’s rainy days watching movies, the first snowfall…”
For one sliver of time, I imagine curling up on a couch with CJ to watch a movie while the rain pours down outside. “Thanksgiving,” I add.
He nods, but his eyes are edged with sadness. “Do you guys have a big gathering?”
I tell him about how we’ve been celebrating with Henry and Barb’s family since Zach and Sofie got together. “We have to use two extra tables just to get us all in one space.”
“That sounds like chaos, but in a good way.” He decelerates slowly to a stop sign, then checks both ways before turning left. He’s always so steady and relaxed behind the wheel. Like he’s never in a hurry. I imagine the two of us driving somewhere together, like into the mountains for a hike in the summertime, and my heart throbs with yearning.
“Where’s your mom in this equation?” he asks as the road starts to descend the mountain. “Do you ever spend it with her?”
I shake my head. “She lives in L.A.” It doesn’t hurt as much to say out loud now, but I can’t deny the little knot tightening at the base of my throat. “I haven’t seen her since my college graduation.”
He flashes me a look so pained I want to crawl over the console and kiss it away. “I’m sorry.”
I squeeze his hand. “My family makes up for it. What’s Thanksgiving like for you?”
He brings the back of my hand to his lips for a soft kiss. “My aunt and uncle host a gathering with my entire extended family, but I usually go to Bear’s. His mom is a fantastic cook and it’s super chill.”
That he prefers to spend Thanksgiving with his found family instead of hisactualfamily isn’t lost on me. “So back to those rainy days and movies. Tell me your top five.”
The way his face lights up when he lists them and their qualities turns into a heated debate that gets us both laughing, thankfully bringing the mood back from sad town.
“What’s your middle name?” he asks.
“I don’t have one.”
“That’s a thing?”
“It’s not like they don’t let you leave the hospital without one.” I shrug. “My sister got my mom’s, and Jesse got her maiden name.”Just because she didn’t have anything left to give me isn’t my fault.
He frowns. “There are lots of other choices.”
“At least I don’t run out of room filling in forms.”
He watches me for another long moment, but I keep my eyes on the road ahead.
“What was your favorite movie as a kid?” he finally asks.
“Grizzly Adams.”
“A classic,” he says easily. Then, in a passable imitation of Grizzly, he rattles off the movie’s most iconic line about living in harmony with Nature. A line I made my entire personality for longer than I’d like to admit.
“You know it by heart?”
“Not all of it.”
I stare at the snowflakes dancing in the bright beam of his headlights. “I wanted to be him.”
“Because he lived in the woods?”