Dad glares at CJ. “But you’re going to have to earn my respect, and right now, I’m just not sure where that’s gonna land. I might be old fashioned, but Linnie’s my baby. I failed to protect her in the past. I won’t make that mistake again.”
CJ glances at me, a humble expression in his eyes. I want to believe his claim that everything will work out, but it’s not feeling that way right now. It feels like I’m being asked to take sides.
CJ nods at Dad. “That’s fair.”
Dad opens his mouth, his troubled look unchanged, but I cut him off because I think we’ve said enough.
“I think…we’ll go.” I squeeze CJ’s hand. “Maybe we can talk…later.”
Dad reaches for me, and I step into his embrace. He releases a full sigh and kisses the top of my head. “I love you.”
I hug him back. “I love you too.”
The forecastof warmer temperatures and a week of rain coming up gives me even more motivation to return to Little Elk Creek on Monday morning. Once our snowpack starts melting, the creek will become too flooded and dangerous for field work until early summer. I need that data now.
I also could use the distraction of a project. I stayed at CJ’s for the rest of the weekend and Dad was busy with Jesse and Skye yesterday, so we haven’t talked since my meltdown in the kitchen. I shouldn’t worry—Dad and I will be okay. But will he hold a grudge against CJ? He made it clear he’ll be paying attention. Will he hover too close, expecting him to make a mistake?
Before I met CJ, I wasn’t interested in meeting someone new, taking that risk. Now, the idea of my life without him brings a tight ache to my chest.
Dad won’t make me choose. He’s not like that.
Something CJ shared this weekend cuts through my noisy thoughts.Let go and let it be.
Maybe it’s worth a try.
Even though Keith is usually stuck in meetings on Monday mornings, I arrive at the office extra early to avoid a confrontation. After packing my tools and gear into a silver work truck by headlamp beam, I grab my boots and backpack and the last of the coffee CJ made me and head north.
My mind is too busy for music, so I let the engine’s steady hum ground me. Memories from the intense weekend skip through my thoughts. My time with CJ. The tough conversation with Dad.
The sunrise is muted behind thick cloud cover, adding a new layer of worry to my brooding thoughts. I park in the same pullout as my last visit and gear up, though no hip waders todaybecause I’ll be higher up in the valley where the channel is braided and shallow. The air tastes of the creek minerals and melting snow. It’s lost its winter bite, which feels fresh on my cheeks and nose.
I snap a selfie, making sure to get the tailgate of the truck and a slice of the rushing creek in the frame, but decide to hold off sending it in case CJ is catching up on sleep after keeping me up so late. I send it to Maryanne instead.
She gives my picture a heart, then texts back:
Lookin fine, hot stuff
I grin.
She adds:
I miss you
ME:
Forgive the radio silence. Busy weekend
MARYANNE:
The good kind of busy?
Dad’s words echo through my mind, but I force my fears aside.
ME:
The amazing kind
She replies with a kissy face emoji and a burst of hearts that float up my screen.