“Can I say you’re not?” I whisper carefully.
Half a smile blooms across his lips. “I’ve missed you, Sun. It’s been dark without you.”
Warmth filters through me at the sound of my nickname. “Come with me? If she is okay alone for a bit.”
He nods, eyes tracing back to Feyre. “She’s not going anywhere. She just sleeps. It’ll be better when we go back to thecity tomorrow, don’t you think? More help.” He takes my hand, letting me guide him out of the seat, out of the room, into the attached bathroom. There’s only a small bath in here, but I find a razor under the sink, and scissors, and get him to sit down on a little stool before I begin wordlessly cutting his hair. I need to look after him, just like all the times he has looked after me in the past. He takes over after a while, shaving his beard off himself. It’s strange and sweet, seeing his beautiful face again. “My father is dead, isn’t he?”
“Yes.” The truth is whispered as softly as I can while I stroke his hair.
“Was it painful?” I tense, my hand in his hand.
My eyes meet his in the mirror. Most of his beard has been shaved off now, his hair cut short and neat. “Yes.”
He looks away as grief flashes across his face. “My sister’s alive. You’re alive. I should be grateful for that. It was my fault they found my father in the first place. I just wanted everyone back alive.”
I move around him, cupping his face. “We’re going to get revenge for what they did. Your father is not going to be forgotten, Finn.” I pause. “I need you. I need you to come back to me now. I need you to be that crazy man who killed a load of people, lined them up just to get himself locked in prison right next to me, and then insisted on telling me all about it. The same man that would walk through a field of blood at my side, and grin, and smile, and kiss me in it—because he’s just as crazy as I am sometimes.”
He lets out a quiet breath. Something in his eyes shifts. “We do make a beautiful psychotic couple.”
“Then let’s show the world what happens when you cross monsters and take their family.” I kiss him, sinking into his arms. He kisses me back, showing me that we might be monstersto the world who doesn’t know the truth—but we are going to make sure the real villain ends up dead.
Chapter
Six
The soft waves brush against my legs as I sit in the sand and look up at the sun in the sky. Mexico is beautiful, and I’m certain I’m getting a tan because of it, because being trapped in the house really isn’t for me. I’ve made my way down to this beach, and it’s not too far from the house. It’s a private alcove, a hidden path away from the house, with palm trees lining around in a half circle, the waves slowly brushing up against the golden sand. I left my shoes by the rocks, and I’ve been lying here with my bottle of water for a good half an hour. It reminds me of Spain, of Harry and his parents, and the brief happiness I had. I wish Harry hadn’t died, and I won’t forget him. He was like a brother to me, and his dad was a good man.
I feel him coming before Hollis sits down next to me, holding a coconut with a straw sticking out. “Getting a tan?” I roll my eyes at him, remembering all the times he would taunt me about a tan from Spain when I first met him. He was such an asshole back then, and he knows it. He hands me the coconut drink. “It’s meant to be good for your recovery.”
I smile at him, taking the coconut and having a long sip. “That’s definitely fresh, thank you.” I pause and wince. “I never liked coconut, though.”
He laughs, taking it from me and running his hand down my arm. “You look so much better, but you’re too quiet. I thought the tan comment might get me some sarcasm back.”
I purse my lips. “No sarcasm, just my winning smile. I know the only reason you teased me about my tan is because you wanted to see me with my clothes off.”
“You’re right,” he admits without a single care. “Do you want to go into the water with me for a swim? It’s warm. You don’t have to go in deep, and I’ll be there.”
“No. Not yet. There’s a lot going on in my head, and perhaps the sea is a little too much at this point,” I admit. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go into any water without some bit of fear in my chest. It lingers, and it doesn’t go away. I glance at him, noticing for the first time that he isn’t wearing a shirt. He has light shorts on, the sunlight gleaming against his slightly tanned skin.
“I did want to speak to you alone, if now’s okay. If you want me to go and not interrupt—” he nervously begins.
“Hollis, I don’t want you to go anywhere.” My hand reaches for his instinctively, and he locks our fingers together. “I spent six months wanting nothing more than to be with all of you. Don’t go. I only came down here because I needed to get out of the house. It’s a bit crowded, and Feyre—I keep hearing her screaming. Her screams remind me too much of the king.”
“She’s not always taking the medication to sleep. Finn’s managed to calm her down, but I’ll tell the others.” He lifts our hands and kisses mine. “Do you want to talk about anything that happened with the king? You know I’m here for you, to rant or just talk. I am just here. I spent over a hundred years with him, letting him shape me into a killer, and I know exactly what he and his team use as methods to break someone. I know he would have wanted you to tell him where the city was, and you didn’t.”
“Not right now, no, but one day, I’d like you to sit with me and let me tell you it all. With Rhodes and Severi, too. Ithink only you three can really understand the king and what happened to me. It was…He tried to break me, but he couldn’t. My parents made sure I was unbreakable to torture when I was a kid and a teenager. They broke me first, and there was nothing worse to be done. I think that’s why I’m not like Feyre, why I want to keep going and I’m focused on revenge right now. The only thing that is helping me is knowing the king is going to die and I will be safe with my mates. No one will be a threat to us again, not like him.”
“Fuck, I’m proud of you.” He clears his throat.
I look up at him, watching the sunlight stream through his blond hair, and how it makes his forest green eyes so bright. “What was it you wanted to talk to me about?”
“Franklin.” He looks right at me.
“What about him? Is he okay?” I quickly question.
“Yeah, he’s fine.” He pauses, and I can tell this is hard for him, whatever he needs to say. We haven’t talked about Franklin all that much since he told me who he was and the story of his birth. “In the last six months, he’s lived in the apartment back in the city, under the care of Annie or your aunt, and Issan too. I was constantly looking for you, and I became a shell of a father. I didn’t want anything to do with anything other than finding you. I was using the connections I had as a commander, anything I could buy or trade, or blackmail…all of it, trying to find you. I often don’t think I’m good for him.” He struggles to admit that.
I don’t agree at all, but he continues before I can tell him that. “I wanted to speak to you about the fact that you didn’t ask for a child to raise. You’re young, and I do not expect you to look after him as your own, or to be okay with him being in our bond group. Between me being a mess as a father and him not having a mother…it’s fucked up for a kid. I was thinking of trying to find an adoptive family for him that’s nearby, so I could still see him regularly, but he can have parents that put him first. The truthis, I always put you first now, and I won’t ask you to give up anything for me.”