“Hollis,” I begin sharply. “Parents are not meant to be these perfect people who never make mistakes and do everything right… That’s not real. You put him in a safe place in this messed-up world, with people you knew would protect him no matter what, and went looking for your mate. That is okay, and that does not make you a bad parent. Franklin is part of you. I will admit that I’m not good with children. I do not know how to handle children or love them. I haven’t been around many, to be honest, and I’m terrified I’m going to royally mess it up with your son to the point where you won’t want me around him.”
“That will never happen.” He shakes his head.
“But you did a lot to protect Franklin, and you love him. He’s a good kid and you can be a good father. I would never, ever stop that. I want to help you, not hinder you. He looks just like you, you know? He may not speak to me much, and he has definitely stolen my dog. But I will love him. I accept him. I would never want you to give him to an adoptive family and not bring him up yourself, Hollis. I get why you would think that, but I don’t want that. I want him with us. I want you to tell him about his mother often.” I pause. “Yes, a part of me is jealous. I will admit that. That lingering jealousy is always going to be there, but it’s not fair to him. It’s not fair to you either. She gave birth to Franklin, and she deserves to be remembered for that. Everything else we’ll figure out, okay? I can’t promise I’m going to be great at the role model thing, but I’ll try my hardest for you. For him too. I know what it’s like to be alone in the world and just want someone.”
I look at Hollis when I’m done, seeing he has tears in his eyes. “You mean all of that? I washorribleto you; I pushed you away. I’m a mess sometimes and I mess everything up. The fact that you want this, that you’d do this for me is?—”
“Hollis, you weren’t messing everything up. You were being blackmailed,” I remind him. Fucking Rochelle. I climb onto his lap and wrap my arms around his shoulders, his neck, resting my forehead against his. “You’re my mate, and if anyone could talk about messing up, it’s one hundred percent me too, don’t you think? Messing up is my nature. That’s exactly why I’m also scared of getting it wrong with Franklin. He deserves responsible adults to look after him, and he’s definitely not going to get that with me.”
Hollis laughs, running his hand through my hair. “You’re more responsible than you think you are, Gwen.”
“Mm. No, I’m not.” I disagree highly. I’m working out a plan to steal my dog back from a kid. I just need treats and a lead.
“Yes, you are.” He laughs and I enjoy every moment of the sound, of the look of pure peace on his face. I don’t think I’ve seen Hollis this relaxed. We both smile at each other.
“I love you,” he murmurs, tucking my hair behind my ear. “I’m so goddamn in love with you, Gwen. If it was ever possible to love anyone like the way I feel about you—like every second we get together is pure gold in a dim world.”
“Kiss me, Hollis,” I beg him, not caring how needy my voice gets. “I need?—”
He captures my lips before I finish that sentence. Demanding, pulling and tugging me closer until there is no space between us. We lose ourselves in that kiss before he rolls me over onto the sand, pulling down my top. I gasp as he takes one of my nipples into his mouth, flicking his tongue around it before kissing the centre of my chest. He pulls my clothes off—the tank top and shorts, yanking them off along with my underwear. I lie bare below him in the sand, the water spraying against my toes. The sunlight shines down over him, making him look like a God of the sun.
“Fuck,” he says, kneeling between my legs, looking down at me. My cheeks burn, slightly self-conscious, but he doesn’t care. He picks me up with one arm, kissing me as he carries me over to a flat rock and lays me down on it. I don’t even care how warm the rock is from the sun as he looks at me, and I feel like I’m on fire. “Kiss you?” he breathes against my lips. “That I can definitely do.”
My head drops back as I realise what he’s going to do as he kneels before the rock, pulling me to the edge. He kisses me, right between my legs, and I moan in pleasure. His tongue flicks around my clit, and my moans echo off the beach as he devours me. He pulls me right to the edge, fast and quick, and he doesn’t stop. I come hard, my hands sinking into his hair, holding him to me. The orgasm shakes through me, the pleasure making my body tremble. He leans up, picks me up again, and sits on the rock himself, hovering me over him.
“You’re in control.” He offers me that. He offers me something I haven’t had in months.
Hollis holds my hips, watching me like I’m everything to him—like I’m the only thing that exists in this moment, in this world. The reverence in his eyes makes my chest ache as much as the wanting does. He groans when I stroke his cock, a low, rough sound that vibrates through the air between us, running my thumb over the damp tip. His hands slide to the rock beneath us, like he needs something to ground him, like I’m too much and he has to anchor himself just to stay present.
“I nearly came licking you, Gwen, I won’t last if you do that for too long.” His voice is strained, tight with restraint. “I want to be inside you.”
I stroke him once more—slowly, deliberately—and grin at the feral look he gives me. His jaw is tight, a muscle quivering in his cheek, his breath coming out shallow. There’s somethingintoxicating about having this kind of power over him, watching him come apart from something as simple as my hand.
I slowly line him up, the tip of him against me, and I begin to sink down, inch by inch. He’s big, stretching me with every inch I take, the sensation somewhere between too much and not nearly enough. It’s been a while since I’ve had anyone inside me, and it’s the first time for both of us, and I already know I’m going to be sore after him—that I’ll feel him for days. The thought makes me sink down a little faster.
His hands dig into the rock, the stone cracking under his palms, with a sound like the world is breaking, as he watches me—every muscle in his body coiled. His gaze is dark and fixed on where we’re joined, like he can’t look away. Like he won’t.
I take the last of him and go still.
He fills me perfectly, like we were made for exactly this. He is my mate, and he is perfectly mine. I feel the breath leave me in a slow, shuddering exhale.
“You know how often I’ve wanted to do this?” he breathes out tightly, his voice scraped raw. His eyes finally find mine, and what’s in them undoes me completely. “How much it killed me, not being able to touch you? I knew you’d be this tight, this wet and fucking perfect for me.”
His thumb finds my hip, pressing in like he’s trying to memorize the feel of me. Like even now, buried fully inside me, he can’t get close enough.
I move, and the world falls away. There’s nothing but the sound of my moans and his grunts as we completely lose ourselves in each other. Eventually he loses control, spinning us on the rock, laying me down underneath him, pounding harder and faster into me. One hand digs into my hair, his tongue in my mouth, and he reaches between us, his fingers rubbing my clit. I come undone fast, clenching and moaning into his mouth as he grunts once and thrusts in deep and hard, stilling as he finishes.
“Fuck.” He breathlessly whispers against my lips. “I love you.” We stare at each other, and he picks me up—still inside me—and carries us into the water, shallow enough that the waves roll over us, with me on his lap.
“I love you too,” I murmur, realising the sea isn’t scaring me when I’m with him. The waves are warm as they wash over us, and he kisses me under the sunlight, unspoiled and soft, like the world has to wait for us to have this moment. Three words. It’s everything between us—a promise of our future—of whatever happens next, we will do together.
Chapter
Seven
“That’s certainly one way to open a portal.” Alek frowns and his hand tightens in mine.
“My Nexus loves it. She said it reminds her of old times and other gruesome shit.” I stare at the two Vians who are kneeling, their heads covered with dark red cloaks. I can’t see their faces or even make out if they are female or not, but my senses tell me they are Vian. Judging by the strange symbol of a mask on the back of their cloaks, they are students of this academy. Their arms are outstretched, displaying long lines cut from their wrists all the way up to their elbows. Their metallic-smelling blood freely pours down into a puddle between them, and from that puddle, a red swirling portal holds steady.