So,I think as the long highway looms in front of me.Maybe tonight I’ll find him and I’ll forget all about beautiful Timmy.
Yeah, right.
3
Timmy
How was I supposed to prepare for this?
I never thought that my friend’s almost brother-in-law would look like every man I’ve ever fantasized about, never imagined that man could even exist. So from the moment I saw him I activated survival mode, and I’ve only spoken the bare minimum and tried not to stare.
He has that commanding aura around him that screamsDaddy, but I can’t possibly know that for sure. It’s probably just hopeful delirium, and I have to accept that.
But there’s no way on earth to stop the sudden feeling of loss when Jake makes a quick exit before anyone can even utter a goodbye.
“What did he mean, going to work? It’s almost nine,” I argue and turn back to Benny. I want to know everything about Jake, and where he works is a great place to start I suppose.
And it seems like a simple enough question, but Benny grimaces and tilts his head from side to side, then he looks at Chris like he should answer this.
In turn, Chris smiles serenely at me.
“He works at a club,” he explains in a measured tone.
“That makes sense, then,” I say, subdued.
I wish I had the balls to ask them if Jake’s queer or if he would ever be interested in someone so much younger than him—Benny mentioned something about him being thirty-six and an old man during dinner—but I don’t.
I really, really don’t.
So instead, I focus on Chris, and ask him all kinds of questions to keep the conversation going and my mind away from Jake.
But when it’s time for me to go, I lower my guard for just a second. It doesn’t take much more to imagine how the whole conversation would go. Benny and Chris would surely be uncomfortable and they’d for sure try to be nice about brushing me off, but the sting would never go away.
Because of that, I call an Uber while Benny’s distracted, and it arrives right as I’m closing the dishwasher.
Benny complains, saying how he was going to drive me, but I ignore him while I shake Chris’s hand and thank him for his hospitality.
“I like him for you,” I tell Benny just outside the front door. “You guys are damn cute together.” I can see how happy he is to hear me say it, and his eyes even go a little hazy, so I take my chances, grab my duffel, and make my escape.
I want a Daddy, not just an older boyfriend, though that would be my preference. I want someone whowantsto take care of me. The chances of me finding that in Vegas compared to Detroit are higher, though.
So after the season I’m going to focus on that. For now, I have to put Jake and my search for my perfect Daddy out of my head.
When I get to my temporary apartment, it’s as sad as I suspected it would be. Totally lifeless, not a homey object in sight. My two big suitcases right in the entrance hall are the only indication that this isn’t a catalogue apartment come to life.
I can’t muster up the effort to do more than take out a fresh pair of underwear and find the only bedroom in the apartment. The freshly made king-sized bed looks inviting, but I need a shower after the weird-ass day I’ve had. I need to wash it all off and forget about it.
July
I shuffle in front of the full-length mirror in my new apartment and sigh.
I don’t know if going to a sex club dressed so casually is going to make me look like I haven’t been sweating over tonight’s events for weeks, or if it makes me look disinterested. Comfortable, soft, worn-in jeans and a hoodie are what I’m comfortable in, though. It’s what I feel like myself in.
Benny did end up asking Chris to move in together, and they’re living in lovable bliss, while I bought the apartment from him—thanks to my brand newah-mazingcontract with the Pirates.
After I signed, Gab assured me she didn’t have any plans of trading me away, least of all for being fucking gay, and though I know that can change any day for any reason, I trust her enough to make this big kind of purchase.
I have no clue why there are so many damn mirrors in this place—I bought it furnished—since I never thought Benny would be overly vain, but it just goes to show you never know everything about people, no matter how long you’ve known them.