God, he’s precious.
“With Benny,” he adds suddenly, and looks back at him. “We’re friends from the juniors, and I’m pumped to play with him again, you know? I didn’t have a lot of friends back in Detroit.” His words come out fast, a bit frantic, and I don’t mind one bit. He’s got me, hook, line, and?—
Wait, did he?—
“So you’re twenty-two as well?” I ask before I can stop myself, and I want to take the words back instantly, even if the realization does have an uncomfortably big impact on me.
“Yeah, same as me,” Benny says, brightly as ever, and clearly unaware that my dreams just got crushed.
So he’s more than a decade younger than me.
That’s . . . too much.
Too young.
Too beautiful.
Unattainable.
Wrong.
For me.
While I freak the fuck out, Benny introduces Timmy to Chris and they start talking about their time at boarding school, and they... don’t stop.
I don’t think anyone notices that I don’t speak, because there’s no way I could ever get a word in edgewise anyway.
I use the time wisely, wallowing.
I’m going to work after this, and there’s no time to wallow at work when you manage a gay sex club. There just isn’t.
So when dinner is over and the plates are rinsed and in the dishwasher, I make a quick exit, not even letting Chris question why I’m leaving so early tonight.
During the long drive to Provoke, I get some more wallowing in.
I mean, for fuck’s sake.
I’ve been looking for a boy to call my own foryears.
Long, long years.
And of course, Timmy’s probably not a boy. Hell, he’s probably straight, so it’s all pointless. But damn, he’s pretty.
I’ve had zero luck in finding my forever love, so I know I’m due some results, but I know better than to get ahead of myself like this. Once the club was established and Chris and I finally had some stability in our lives, I started searching desperately for someone to love. I even went as far as convincing myself I didn’t need the kind of connection a Daddy-boy relationship offers.
And I failed. Miserably.
I want that connection, that deep sense of satisfaction. I need it.
Despite how little evidence there is, I still hope that someday I’ll find the perfect boy for me, and if he happens to look anything like Timmy?
Well, fantasies never hurt anyone.
Owning a sex club, I know that fantasies can actually lead to a healthier and happier life, when you do your research and don’t hurt anyone.
There have been plenty of boys who’ve come into Provoke looking for a Daddy, but none of them have been right for me. None of them have wanted what I want.
Not that I use my business as a matchmaking service for myself, but it is the best place to look.