“I’m no expert, but I don’t think it works that way, Ollie.”
“Jesus Christ, Reid.” I rubbed my temples. “You’re not gay. You’ve never been into guys in your life. I get that you may be curious, but I’m not willing to be your experiment, okay?” My heart couldn’t fucking handle that. It was better not to know what I was missing when he realized having feelings for a man, sexual or otherwise, wasn’t for him.
“I’m not asking you to,” he said, looking taken aback. “Why are you so mad?”
“Mad isn’t the right word.”
“Then what is? Obviously, I’ve upset you, and that wasn’t my intention.”
“You surprised me, is all.”
“Not a good surprise,” he mumbled, and then let out a heavy sigh. “Can I ask you something?” Without waiting for me to respond, he said, “How do you explain the fact that I remember you? Everything else surrounding the day of my accident is hazy,but for some reason, you’re crystal clear. You think that’s some sort of coincidence?”
No.I crossed my arms. “Yeah, I do.”
“Well, I don’t. And I don’t believe you do either.”
His dark stare penetrated right through me, and half of me wanted to take back everything I’d just said and start over. Go back to when his lips were on mine, better than it had been in my dreams. But the other half, the logical, realistic half, told me to hold on to whatever self-preservation I could. It was harder said than done with the way my heart physically ached with every violent beat.
I saw the moment his persistence wavered. His jaw clenched as if he had to force it shut or more words would come tumbling out. And with the way I was giving him nothing back but hard shoves, it seemed his self-preservation side was winning out as well.
“This was a bad idea,” he said, his voice low and uneven. “I’m sorry, Ollie. I wish I could take it back.” He gave me one last look and then shook his head before brushing past me. “I’ll see you later.”
“Wait, what are you doing?”
“I’m gonna go.”
“No, Reid, you don’t have to leave?—”
“And I have no reason to stay. You’ve made your point.” His eyes flickered to the corner of the kitchen. “Thanks for the piano.” Then he took off down the hall without giving me another glance.
“Reid, wait,” I finally called out after him, but the only answer I got was the sound of the door slamming shut behind him.
ten
“CARE TO TELL me why you look like someone pissed in your coffee, or do I have to try to guess?” Mike said a couple days later as we strolled through a department store at the town mall while in between calls. He’d wanted to pick up a few things for his wife’s birthday, and it was either go with him or sulk in the rig like I had the past forty-eight hours.
“I’m not in a mood.” Yeah, even to my ears I sounded like a sullen teenager who’d lost his iPad privileges.Pathetic.
“No? You about scared the pants off the interns this morning, for one.”
“Good. They almost hosed me down while they were supposed to be cleaning Big Bertha.”
“Oh. Well, for two, I just shoveled down an apple fritter and you didn’t even try to swipe it outta my hand.”
“You did?”
“No, but it proves you’re not paying attention for shit.”
I sighed. “Did you already get what you needed?”
“See, if you’d beenpaying attention, you’d know I haven’t bought the first damn thing. You’re no help.”
“You don’t need help. Just get her something nice.”
“Nice?” Mike scoffed. “A new microwave is nice. Getting her oil changed and her car tuned up is nice. None of those things will get me laid.”
“You’re married; you don’t need to buy things to get laid.”