Lying to him adds to my stress. Every night, I wake up from a familiar nightmare where I’m running through dense woods, frantically searching for someone or something. I haven’t had that dream in years. I wake up in a cold sweat, my heart pounding, confused as to why I’m sprawled on the cramped couch in one of the spare offices instead of at home in bed. Then reality settles in, and I don’t sleep well for the rest of the night.
A few days after that, after a late-night session with P’Prapha where I break down and cry until I’m hoarse, I fall asleep in the first chair I collapse in, too tired to even seek out a couch. The next thing I know my phone is blaring the alarm and the early morning sun is shining on me through the windows.
Down in the gym, I discover I don’t have any clean clothes. I have no choice but to head back to the apartment. The moment I walk in, I make a b-line for the coffee pot. I don’t notice Peach, Nat, and Bua sitting at the table having breakfast until I turn around, and, startled, almost drop my cup of coffee.
“We thought you were dead,” Bua says in her typical straight-forward fashion.
“No, I just feel dead,” I say, sitting down at the table and accepting the congee Peach sets before me with a quick wai.
“You look rough,” Nat says.
Peach’s brother practically lives at our place. I let him sleep in my bed when I’m not there, which, these days, is most of the time. A year younger than his sister, he’ll be starting at the university in August. I wonder if he’ll want to live here with Peach—If so, I’ll have to find another place or ask for a room in the dormitory.
I don’t speak until I finish eating.
“Sorry, I didn’t eat last night,” I say, pushing away my empty bowl.
“You look like hell,” Bua says. “What’s wrong with your voice?”
“I, uh.” I shake my head. “I’ve been working late.”
I take a sip of my coffee, appreciating how strong Bua makes it.
“All night?” Peach asks doubtfully.
“I slept at work.”
“Sud thinks you’re spending the night at P’Wisit’s,” Bua says, watching me closely.
I put down my cup. “Did he say that?”
“No, but he’s come by here early in the morning three times in the past two weeks, and when I told him I had no idea where you were, I could tell he came to his own conclusions.”
“Make that four times,” Peach says. “I answered when you were in the shower one morning.”
“Five,” Nat says.
“Shit.” I cover my face with my hands.Sud’s been here looking for me and I haven’t been here. Does he really think I’m staying with P’Wisit?
“He never said anything about it,” I say miserably.
Bua sighs dramatically. “Oh, what a tangled—“
Dropping my hands, I cut her off with a death glare.
“Areyou staying with P’Wisit?“ Peach asks me.
When I don’t answer, Bua informs her, “No, he really is sleeping at the studio. He’s taking acting classes at night because he doesn’t think he’s good enough, and he doesn’t want Sud to know. He made me promise I wouldn’t tell Sud or anyone else.”
“Yet, here you are telling everybody,” I say.
Bua shakes her head. “The jig is up, Mee Noi. This can’t go on.”
Nat looks at me curiously. “Don’t you think it would be better to tell him the truth than to let him believe you’re sleeping with P’Wisit? I mean, it’s obvious he’s upset about it. At least to me, it is.” He looks at the girls, and they both nod.
I gape at him. “Sleeping with P’Wisit? Why would I be sleeping with him?”
Bua shrugs. “Why else do two grown men spend their nights together?”