“Mee Noi, this is for you,” one of them says, handing me a heart-shaped box before scampering away with her friend. My cheeks grow hot. Things were quiet for a while after Sud and I signed our contracts for Rainbow TV. Then came the media announcement that we were a new couple there, and suddenly tons of girls are giving me gifts and writing me notes.
“They’re flirting with you, idiot,” Bua says to me, noticing my confusion. “Any guy with any sense would be loving this.”
I guess I don’t have any sense, then, because Ihateit. Sud’s getting the same treatment but taking it much better than I am. He hasn’t started dating anyone—he told me he won’t have time, and it wouldn’t look good for ourship—my palms start sweating at just the mention of the word—but he’s basking in the admiration, for sure. The only thing bigger than Sud’s heart is his ego.
My only break in the chaos that is now my life is the occasional online game with P’Film, who doesn’t know anything about boys’ love and just wants to playFortniteor talk about plants. Listening to him recite all the Latin names actually calms my anxiety and keeps me from replaying the moment when Sud kissed me during the audition.
Because I tend to replay it a lot. Probably because it was my first kiss. That zing of pleasure and the bone melting that came after it were because of that. Of course they were. Jess could have kissed me, and I’d feel the same way.
“Earth to Mee Noi,” Bua says, snatching the box from me and opening it. “Ew, orange candy. I hate these.”
“Bua, what was your first kiss like?” I ask her.
She drops the box, and half the candy spills out. “What?”
“I need to know what your first kiss was like. You had a boyfriend. You must have kissed.”
“Well, yeah. It was good. I guess.”
“You guess?”
“I mean, sure. He walked me to the door after a date, just like in a movie or something. Only when he took my hand, our palms were both clammy. And when he kissed me, we bumped noses, and then his braces cut my lip.”
“But…there was a zing, right? You felt kind of electrified, didn’t you?”
“No, not really.”
Moving closer to her on the bench, I lower my voice. “The kiss Sud and I shared in the audition was my first kiss. I can’t stop thinking about it. I thought it was because it was my first, but, now I’m not so sure.”
“Sorry,” she says.
“Maybe I’m remembering it wrong. It was probably the feeling of being nervous.”
“I don’t know. Off and I were plenty nervous when we kissed that night.”
“Kiss me,” I say, turning to face her.
Bua moves back on the bench. “Uh, I don’t think so!”
“I just want to understand what I felt.”
Incredulity overtakes Bua’s face. “And you really think that kissing me is going to clear things up for you?” With a sound ofannoyance, she pushes me away. “Yuck, Mee Noi. We’re friends! I can’t kiss you.”
“Sud and I are friends,” I remind her.
“Yeah, but that’s different.”
“How is it different?”
“Mee Noi, right?” a deep male voice says, so close to me that I jump.
Bua’s eyes get wide, and before I know it, she’s grabbed her things and is waving goodbye, babbling about having to be somewhere.
“Is it all right if I sit down?”
I look up at the tall, handsome guy standing at my elbow. I know who he is because he’s a very popular third year, president of his class, and involved in just about everything at the school.
“Of course, P’Wisit,” I say, giving a quick wai.