P’Payu’s eyes light up. “Oh! Then you’re already familiar with each other. Must be why your audition went so well. You’ll like it at Rainbow. Everyone is really great here, and you don’t get that at other production companies. Sure, there’s always some competition, but the execs like to think of us as a big family. They’re here for us, and they make sure we participate in a lot of events that bring the actors together as a team. You’ll see.Anyway, if you have any questions, just ask me. Here.” He takes out his phone and pulls up a QR code. “This is my LINE id.”
I take my cell phone out of my pocket and scan the code, then let him scan mine.
“There you two are.” I turn to see P’Tar standing in the doorway, Sud behind him. I walk over and hand Sud the unopened drink P’Payu gave me.
P’Payu gets another one out of the refrigerator and hands it to me.
“P’Sign wants to talk to us, Nong,” P’Tar tells P’Payu. Then, to us, he says, “I guess we’ll be seeing you guys soon.”
“Are you ready to go?” Sud asks me after they leave.
I nod, and we start down the hall.
“I looked for Khun Intapong, but she wasn’t in her office. We can call her this afternoon and tell her you don’t want to do it. He stops when the elevator doors open. “Or maybe we should talk it over with P’Sign first? Get his opinion on the best way to go about it? He seems nice.” He starts to turn around, but I stop him with a hand to his arm.
“No, let’s leave.”
We don’t talk anymore until we’re in Sud’s car.
“Don’t worry, I’ll tell Khun Intapong. You don’t have to do anything.”
Distracted with my thoughts, I say, “What? Tell her what?”
“That you don’t want the part. This is my fault, so I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry.”
Who am I fooling? There’s no way I’m going to let Sud do this without me. I know that as well as I know my own name, so there’s no point in fooling myself anymore. Even though I’ve never wanted to act, and even though it makes me nervous thinking about having so much attention on me, I want to do this for Sud and I think I need to do it for me. I want to be the one beside him all the way, not some other guy who doesn’tknow him like I do. And I can squirrel away money until I have enough for next year’s tuition and then tell my so-called parents to fuck off. And in the meantime, I’ll come out of my shell and experience life.
“I’m going to do it,” I say.
“Noi, there’s no point. I can do it for you,” Sud protests.
“No, I mean, I’m going to take the part.”
Sud shoots me a shocked look. “What? Why? I mean, you don’t want to be an actor.”
“When do we sign the contracts?”
Sud moves his mouth silently for a moment, swallows, then clears his throat. “Um. Tomorrow morning at eight. Are you sure, Noi? I don’t expect you to go this far for me.”
I don’t want to admit that possessiveness and jealousy over a faceless new partner is a big reason, so I go with the other reasons for my decisions. “I have to admit, acting is kind of fun. And this way I can save money for tuition.”
Sud frowns. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with letting your parents continue to pay your tuition.”
“You don’t get it,” I say, trying not to be annoyed because Mae and Pah are nothing like my parents, so Sud wouldn’t know how I feel. “My mother and father don’t care about me, and I don’t want to take their money anymore.” Sud opens his mouth to protest, and I cut him off. “They ask me about my grades and don’t say a thing when I tell them I got all A’s. They don’t want to be with me; they just want to tell me what to do.” An ache takes up in my heart.
“Noi—“
“I mean it, Sud. This will be the best way for me to earn money. So, stop thinking I’m doing you a favor when you’re really doing me one.” I turn to the window.I will not cry.
“Okay,” Sud says, starting the car.
He gives me a few minutes while backing out of the parking space and getting onto the main road before he says, “I’m glad it’s going to be you I’m doing this with.”
I’m too busy trying to wipe away my tears without him noticing to answer.
***
A couple of girls stop by the outdoor table where Bua and I sit, catching some study time between classes.