“The others were your age.”
“Yeah, but I was constantly fantasizing about you, so when Ansel suggested I fuck him over a bail of hay, I took the opportunity.”
Angus wasn’t happy, I could tell, but what was he going to say? Finally, he cleared his throat.
“You fantasized about me?”
I nodded.
“What did you…fantasize?”
“Usually that you came knocking on my door one day and told me you wanted to fuck.”
“And?”
“A-a-and that’s where things got fuzzy,” I said.
“What do you mean?”
I hesitated. “It’s like…in my fantasies, you were domineering, and that made me so hard.”
“Are you saying I fucked you in these fantasies?” Angus asked, eyes glazing over a bit.
“Yeah. But you know things are different when it’s real life. I don’t know if I could let you do that.”
“But the fantasy turned you on,” Angus clarified, eyes twinkling.
“Yeah,” I said. “It really did.”
Chapter twenty-one
Ben
Initially, I was surprised when Angus and Colt told me they wanted us to get married, but after they assured me that it was true, I said I wanted to do it as soon as possible.
“What am I going to wear?” I wailed to David the following day between retches in the toilet.
“Um, I don’t know. I have some white pants, and I know you have a white shirt.”
“I have to wear white?” I asked, laying my forehead on my arms until the next wave of nausea rolled through me and I started retching again.
“I think you should all wear white. It would be cool for the pictures,” David said. “Nobody connects it to virginity anymore.”
“I wish we’d thought of this earlier so we could have Jackson and Carter here,” I said miserably. My stomach was so, so rocky.
“Yeah, but I’ll video call them so they can watch. Listen, Ben, you’ve been throwing up all morning. You want me to get Colt or Angus?”
I shook my head and retched again. Nothing was left in my stomach to throw up.
“Why not? I’m sure one of them will come.”
“And do what, watch me puke? No, thanks,” I said, sitting up and wiping my mouth with a towel.
“No, I mean to let you suck them,” David said.
I made a face but was too sick to tell him how weird I thought he was to think I wanted sex when I was puking my guts up.
“I’m just going to go lie down for a while. I know I said I was going to help you in the garden, but just a short nap, okay?”