Mia looked downat me from where he lay atop my chest, eyes wide and terribly vulnerable in his confusion.
“Keeping something from me? What’d you mean?”
I sighed again. I really didn’t want to have this conversation now. The kiss had been so pleasant and left an electric desire under my skin that made me crave more. However, it wouldn’t be fair to Mia if I allowed that kind of intimacy from him without being completely honest upfront. It was the only way to ensure his choice was completely consensual. The man had enough people making decisions for him in his life. I didn’t need to become another manipulator, even if it was by accident.
“You know that I’ve been looking into your identity,” I started.
Wordlessly, Mia nodded.
“Well, the other day, I had a breakthrough, and while I still don’t know your exact identity yet, I have managed to track down some stuff about your past.”
“Oh?” Mia sat up, never meeting my eye as he toyed with the ends of his long hair. He stayed in my lap, even after I sat up as well, but I wasn’t sure if that was because he wanted to remain close or if he literally didn’t realize he was still sitting on me.
Either way, I wasn’t about to ask him to move.
Luckily, the wig that Chantal had given Mia was of high quality, because most synthetic hair would have frayed under the abuse of his hands as he tugged nervously at it.
“What, um, what did you find?”
With nothing to do but bite the bullet, I tried to keep my words as simple as possible.
“I found out about Camp Green Hill.”
Mia’s head snapped up, his eyes finally meeting my gaze, but there was a look of fear reflected in his eyes.
I kept going. “And I tracked down that detective, Tony Smith.”
It was physically painful watching him deflate right in front of me. Mia was already on the small side. His shoulders were so thin that sometimes I feared he would crumple under his own weight. Yet, the moment that name left my lips, he seemed to shrink even more, as though the very core of him had been scooped out.
Unable to bear it any longer, I grabbed his hands to stop them from tugging at his hair and instead, pulled him closer. Hisnarrow frame fit so easily in my arms, it was almost like hugging air. If I closed my eyes, I could almost pretend he wasn’t there.
But I didn’t want to do that.
I wanted him there. I always wanted him there.
My one solace in everything was the fact that, even in his distress, Mia never tried to pull away from me. He pressed his face against my chest like he could hide there from the rest of the world, and I was half-tempted to carve out my heart and let him build a fortress right there behind my ribcage.
“Based on your reaction,” I said, speaking mostly to the top of his head. “I’m guessing my suspicion was correct. You do remember more than you’ve been telling me.”
I felt more than saw Mia nod again, and when he spoke, his words warmed my skin with little puffs of air. “I didn’t want you to know about that. The Camp was bad enough, but that cop… the things that he… the things that I did… I didn’t want you to know about that. I was afraid you’d look at me differently if you knew.”
Since holding him closer was physically impossible, I tipped his head up so that he met my eye instead.
“Look at me. Do you see anything different in my gaze than there was a few minutes ago, a few days ago, or ever since I first met you.”
Mia did as I instructed, staring into my eyes, and he silently bit his lip. I was momentarily distracted by the sight of white teeth pressing against pink skin and I nearly missed it when he finally spoke up.
“You’ve been distant lately,” he admitted, before he went back to biting his lip.
I groaned, and with my thumb, I carefully rescued his lip from between his teeth. We weren’t going to get anywhere if he kept accidentally distracting me like that.
“I was only distant because I’ve been worrying how to tell you that I’d found out about your past. None of it changes the way I see you.”
He held onto me so tightly, I was afraid his fingers would break, but his eyes were pure softness as he continued to stare up at me.
“Promise?”
“I promise,” I said instantly.