“Fuck, Killian. Where were you? If you’re late one more time…” the manager, Greg, said as I walked in.
“Fuck off. I’m not late.” I grabbed a bottle of water from behind the bar and took a swig. Technically, I was late, but only by a couple of minutes.
He tapped his watch. “Fifteen minutes. You’re supposed to be here fifteen minutes before. You’re cutting it fine… again.”
“Then find someone to replace me,” I called over my shoulder as I walked towards the stage.
I knew he wouldn’t. I brought in the meagre crowds, and he knew it. Admittedly, this wasn’t a high-class bar, but it had been known for an agent or two to stop by. Maybe tonight was the night.
It wasn’t.
“Can I buy you a drink?” I looked at the attractive woman standing next to me at the bar. Her pale face was framed by long dark hair, and she had brown eyes that shone in the dim light, her mouth kicked up in an alluring smile.
“Well, now. I wouldn’t say no. A Jack on the rocks would be good.” I took in her scent. Something musky and seductive. She smelled good.
“You sing well. How have I never heard of you before?” Her voice was so low I could barely hear it.
I winked. “I don’t know, sweetheart. I get around.”
“I’ll bet you do. Look, a few friends and I are hitting some bars tonight. Why don’t you join us?”
As tempted as I was, women weren’t really my thing. I might flirt with them, but in my line of work, it paid off to be versatile. It was never more than that, though. I appreciated a good-looking woman as much as anyone, but I preferred a man beneath me. I loved the feel of another man’s dick in my hand or, better still, in my mouth, and there was nothing on this earth like fucking a man.
“Thanks for the offer, but I’ve somewhere else to be.” I threw back the drink, patted the bar, and made my way to the door.
“Fucking prick,” she shouted after me. Yeah, I was that, but she’d offered, and I would never turn down a drink, especially from a pretty lady.
“Are you ready?” the petite blond barman asked as he slipped on his coat. “I’ve been waiting for this all night.”
“I think the question is, are you ready to be fucked into next week?”
Chapter 3
Harvey
“So, how have things been, Harvey? Have you had a pleasant week?” My therapist’s smiling face filled the computer screen.
“It’s been okay. I went out for drinks last night after work. Some guy’s birthday.”
“Did you have a good time?”
Distracted, I gazed at the small image of myself in the top right of the screen. Fuck, I looked rough, but then, I’d been awake most of the night. I’d tossed and turned, the thought of what I’d almost done weighing heavy.
“Harvey?” Julie tilted her head, waiting for an answer.
“What? Oh, yeah, it was okay. I didn’t stay long.”
“And why was that? Weren’t you having a good time?”
I shook my head. I knew I should tell her what had happened. Fuck, this was why I was in therapy, but something stopped me. Did I want to tell her about Killian? After all, I may never see him again. In fact, it was highly unlikely. I’d never go back to thebar. It wasn’t my thing, so the chances of bumping into him were slim to non-existent.
“Did something happen?” After seeing her for four years, she could read me like a book.
I shook my head again, then nodded. “Yeah, something happened.”
“Do you want to tell me about it?” she asked softly. “You know this is a safe space, and you won’t ever be judged.”
After seeing Killian sing, and then the brief interaction with him outside the bar, emotions I’d fought to push away filled my head. I’d stripped off the moment I got home, uncomfortable in my body, and headed straight to the bathroom, the temptation to cut so close to the surface. My hand trembled as I clutched the blade, the cold metal kissing the skin on my thigh. The confidence I used to have had deserted me.