He cursed and sat up straighter. “I didn’t. I taught you three spells for your protection.”
“And when you did, you inadvertently gave me the ability to touch and read every magic book in the castle.”
Ronan drew in a long breath, then another, his eyes never leaving mine. He was weighing my words. “And you were able to read and memorize that many spells at Docendum before Wolfson sent you to Carendale?” He clearly didn’t believe me. “It takes apprentices years to learn such things with their teachers. You managed to slip in a lot of memorizations after scrubbing the dishes, did you?”
I toyed with letting him think I was a prodigy to rival himself. If the wizards were going to kill me, let them suppose they were executing the greatest genius among them. The knowledge of being bested by a woman, and a lowborn servant at that, would sour in their stomachs.
But I didn’t want to lie to Ronan anymore. “You didn’t think about the nature of grafts before you grafted part of your magic into me. You’d already given yourself the ability to remember every spell you read. That ability transferred as well.”
His eyes widened in shock. He hadn’t considered this possibility and was at last understanding. “You remember every spell you read?”
“Better. I remembered all the ones you’d read at Docendum and the ones you’d created too. You were so very knowledgeable and brilliant. I wouldn’t know half as much had I been given the expertise of another wizard.”
Ronan’s face went white. He dropped my hand and swallowed hard, still staring at me.
I didn’t know what he would do next and half expected he would summon something horrible to consume me. I had just aptly proved to be his greatest mistake.
He blinked at me. “You…you have my knowledge and my power?”
“I only know the incantations you learned before the graft and the ones I read afterward.”
He scrubbed a hand over his face. He was well aware of how much he’d learned in those years and how many new spells he’d cobbled together during that time.
“I don’t have all of your power,” I continued. “My ability to transform is limited to two things: the wolf and the tree.” Perhaps my impending death had loosened my tongue. I knew the scholar in him would appreciate my theories on the matter. “One form I learned through loving you and the other through hating you—or hating Wolfson. I’m not sure which. But in any regard, perhaps strong emotions are needed for transformation, and I never had any stronger than those.”
Ronan lay back down on the floor, dragging more deep breaths between his teeth. He pinched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes.
I checked his bleeding shoulder. “I’m sorry I hurt you, and I’m sorry I betrayed your trust, but I’ve been a servant. For many, it’s no better than being a slave. How could I not work to further the renegades’ cause?”
He let out a grunt of bitterness. “And they were happy enough to use you. They’ll promise the servants access to the sun and stars.” His eyes flew open and his gaze bore into mine. “Make no mistake about it. The renegade leaders want power, and once they use your sacrifices to seize it, they’ll do little to help the plight of the poor.”
He sounded so certain I wondered if he’d somehow discovered who the renegade leaders were. “How can you know that?”
“I know because I’ve studied history. You studied it with me. How can younotknow? This won’t end with King Leofric’s death.”
The two of us had learned about long-ago uprisings in our country and others. Often they involved some leader who claimed power when succession wasn’t clear. Usually, he promised lower taxes and a war upon an enemy country, which he assured people would restore honor and bring a bounty of treasures to the country’s coffers. That seldom happened.
But this was different. This uprising was about lessening the bondage of those born or sold into it.
Still, shaking off Ronan’s words wasn’t easily done. What did I know of the renegade leaders’ plans and designs? I didn’t know who they were. Master Grey and Madame Sutton had told me King Leofric’s death would usher in Lord Clement as a more lenient regent ruler. I’d no reason to suspect they didn’t believe it. Alaric and Gwenyth certainly did. They were willing to give their lives for that belief.
The renegade leaders’ true aim, however, might be something quite different, some grab for power. And even if it wasn’t, the king’s death might cause formidable lords and barons to take advantage of the situation and claim they were better suited to act as the crown princess’s regents. Or perhaps an invading force would see this time of weakness as an opportunity to invade.
Why had I never considered all the ramifications before? I knew the answer as soon as I asked myself the question. I had wanted to believe the renegades could and would fix the plight of the servants, that they had wise, selfless leaders who’d thoughtthrough the implications of the assassination and determined it to be the best course of action.
Under Ronan’s scornful logic, I was no longer certain. Ronan was so often right about things. Was he this time? If the situation became worse in Aerador, I’d be complicit not only in King Leofric’s death but also in the ensuing chaos and bloodshed.
I sat there, paralyzed by the thought. Then I realized it didn’t matter. My mission had failed. The king was safe. I wasn’t. I had no idea what Ronan planned to do with me.
My stomach felt as though it was filled with sand. I wilted under his gaze. “Will you turn me over to the king for execution?”
CHAPTER 27
Ronan placed his hand across the wounds on his shoulder and uttered the incantation of healing. The rest vanished. “How can I turn you over for execution? Your actions, in great measure, are my fault. I sent you away naive, powerful, and angry. I should’ve known better.”
A relieved breath slipped from my lips. I wouldn’t have to face death. Although that didn’t mean he wouldn’t lock me away in a tower.
The effort of performing the healing spell had taken its toll on Ronan. He lay back down and rested on the floor. “I should’ve known better,” he muttered again, “but there is no fool like one in love.”