Placing his breeches and shirt, along with his belt, over a chair, he pulled his nightshirt over his head and made his way toward the bed. “Are you certain that nothing is the matter? It is just that you do not seem as at ease as you did earlier today. You know that I will not ask anything of you that you are not willing to give?” He hesitantly climbed into the bed beside her while keeping his distance.
Color filled her cheeks as she quickly looked away. “I know that. I think I am just tired from the long day. There was a lot to take in.” She kept her gaze focused on the other side of the room.
Pulling back slightly, he placed one foot on the floor beside the bed. “I did not mean to imply anything untoward. Shall I give you some more time to settle in? I can always sleep in the guest chambers until you feel more comfortable being in my presence.”
Snapping her head back in his direction, she answered quickly. “Of course not, why should you be chased away from your own chambers? We are both tired, and I am perfectly capable of sharing a bed.”
“If you are certain?” He climbed back into bed and made himself comfortable, staring up at the ceiling above the bed.
An awkward silence settled between them as his ears began to ring. “I shall take you to Redding Hall soon so that you may see where we shall live. I must warn you that it is still a mess, but the bare bones of the house are there. Perhaps you could get an idea of how you shall decorate?”
“Yes, thank you. I should like that,” she answered distractedly and shifted further beneath the covers.
“Are you certain that I have not said or done anything to offend you?” He turned on his side to face her, wanting to broach the subject of their arrangement.
Shutting her eyes for a moment, she shook her head before staring up at the ceiling. “No, my lord. It was not you. I just… I am just tired. I think it is best that we both get some sleep.” She turned over and snuffed out the candle on her side of the bed, not waiting for a reply.
Staying on his side, he lay quietly for a while watching the back of her head. “Lily, I want you to know that I will never ask anything of you that you are not willing to give. Ourarrangement has always been one of convenience, and I shall not go back on my word.”
Her body stiffened slightly, yet silence still reigned.
Realizing that there was nothing more he could do, he turned away from her and snuffed out his own candle.
I shall not press the matter if it makes her uncomfortable.
“Good night then,” he said out loud.
Nothing but silence continued in the chambers.
I hope you feel better in the morning…
A pang of disappointment clenched at his chest.
***
Stirring in his sleep, Julian turned over to see Lily facing him. Her cheek rested against his arm, while strands of her hair were touching his cheek.
She smelled like fresh flowers and spring air, something that he had not been expecting.
Shifting a little closer, he lifted a hand and ran the tips of his fingers along her cheek until she stirred. Her breathingquickened a little, but it returned to normal when she rolled away from him.
She is beautiful.
His pulse quickened as he let out a breath. She was like a forbidden flower that he longed to touch. The softness of her cheek had been a mere taste of what he thought it would be like to run his fingers through her hair.
Birds began to chirp outside the window, and he realized with a start that he was allowing his heart to wander to places he had promised himself he would not.
I cannot think of her in that way.
He carefully rolled away from her and swung his legs from the bed, shaking off the sleep that had allowed him to lower his guard. He had promised himself years before that he would never again fall in love, nor would he ever allow himself to be loved again. The previous experience had been far too painful for him to ever get that close.
Lily would be his wife and friend, nothing more.
Pushing himself off the bed, he quietly made his way across the room and began to dress, taking care not to make a sound.
Stirring softly in her sleep, Lily moaned, but quickly fell silent again. Even in her unconscious state, he felt drawn to her, but pushed those feelings aside.
He dressed silently before making his way across the room and stopping at the door, where he looked back to see if she was still asleep.