I looked at him. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Did I just say that out loud?’ he said, trying to laugh it off.
‘Yes you did. So now you’re going to have to elaborate.’
Aidan sighed. ‘He seems like a nice enough guy …’
‘But …?’
‘But, when I see the two of you together, you seem different. More guarded, maybe. Like you’re trying to be a different version of yourself.’
‘That’s only because his family are here. It’s not like that usually.’
Or was it? Things were better when it was just the two of us, sure, but I still kept part of myself back, I thought. I didn’t think he’d want to see pure, unadulterated ‘me’ with all my baggage and my anxieties and my need to please people all the time. And Nick, in comparison, seemed very ‘normal’ and together, if a little emotionally unavailable, so I didn’t get the feeling he’d understand. If we could exist in some sort of parallel universe where it was just the two of us, maybe it could work, but when you threw families into the mix, it got complicated. Nick loved his family, they were important to him. Of course he was going to listen to what they had to say and I, in turn, was going to have to accept that they’d potentially be part of my life forever.
‘I’m going to have to try Nick again. Maybe she went back to the hotel,’ I said, dialling his number.
‘Maybe. Although wouldn’t he have told you?’ said Aidan.
I wondered how I was going to word this:have you seen your daughter? You know, the one I was supposed to have been looking after for the last three hours?
It went straight to voicemail again. I held the phone in my hand, willing him to call straight back.
I paced up and down, into the courtyard and back under the arches, looking for Daisy, who could be coming from myriad different directions. Had she walked through the Piazza della Signoria, or would she come in from the other side, by the Arno?
‘Why don’t I stay here and you check back at the hotel, see if she’s made her way there?’ suggested Aidan.
‘Are you sure you wouldn’t mind?’
I’d probably feel better once I was actually doing something active, and she couldn’t have gone far. The street outside our hotel was teeming with shops, so it would make sense that she’d headed back in that direction.
‘I’ll hang around for another half an hour or so,’ said Aidan. ‘I’m sure she’ll turn up.’
I nodded gratefully. ‘OK. If you’re sure.’
Setting off in the direction of the hotel, I picked up my pace as I headed diagonally across the square.
‘Maddie!’ called Aidan.
I stopped and spun around. For some reason, it felt like a moment that had the capacity to change everything.
‘If you want to talk more,’ he said, ‘you know where I am.’
Chapter Twenty-One
I hesitated before going into the hotel because I had no idea what I was going to do if Daisy wasn’t there. The porter came out with his usual cheery demeanour and flamboyant Italian accent.
‘Good afternoon, signora.’
‘Hi,’ I said, smiling at him even though all my facial muscles felt so tense I could barely move them.
I swung through the revolving doors, praying that the first person I saw would be Daisy. Sadly, it was Nick and Sophia. They were sitting in the hotel bar looking very cosy. Sophia had a coffee and was holding it neatly in the palm of her hand, laughing coquettishly at something Nick had said. Nick looked completely relaxed, slouched back in his chair, his shirt open at the collar. I watched them for a second or two. They were the perfect fit. I bet when Sophia and Nick used to enter a room, everyone would think:Ah, yes. There’s a couple who are meant to be together.
I approached them.Please let Daisy be in her room. Please let Daisy be in her room.
‘Hi,’ I said, towering over them.
Sophia cleared her throat, putting down her coffee. Nick stayed in his slouched position, but there was something in his eyes, a sort of startled look, as though he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have been. I wonderedwhether they’d been talking about me, whether that was why they both suddenly looked so guilty.