He is on his knees before me, but the blood in question leaks from a wound that has already started to heal thanks to the glow coming from his Fuegorra.
"I'm all right, Firelocks. And you are too," he murmurs, his voice rough but calm. His breath is slow, steady, grounding.
I shudder, the last of the tremors shaking loose from my limbs. Then I turn, pressing my forehead against his chest. A choked sob escapes me.
My breath evens out as I press my fingers lightly over the gash I left on his arm, the wound already mostly healed.I pull back and bring his skin to my mouth, brushing my lips over the hurt. Soft, small, useless gestures against something almost fixed.
But the need is there—this quiet ache inside me, whispering that if I could take the pain back, I would.
I kiss the mark again.
Vann exhales sharply, but he doesn’t pull away.
His hand goes behind my head, his thumb pressing lightly against my pulse.
“Firelocks,” the name is too rough. Too ragged. All I know is that I wish to be closer to him.
I press my lips to his arm once more, the warmth of my breath spilling over his skin.
My fingers tremble where they rest against his forearm, and I close my eyes. I was more awake for that awakening than I had been for any of the others.
I could feel the curse inside of me, how it forced my body to work.
It is dangerous.
Vann’s hand slips from my pulse to tilt my chin up. His silver eyes pierce mine, sharp as steel, unreadable as the night sky.
I swallow thickly, forcing myself to hold his gaze. “You pulled me back.”
Something flickers behind his eyes—something reckless. His hand lingers at my jaw, thumb brushing over my cheekbone in the faintest ghost of a touch.
“You need to rest,” he says, voice rough. His eyes drop to my lips.
I suck in a breath.
I recognize this moment from previous moments with lovers, and I know what comes next. My head spins, and I lean forward.
But things weren’t so simple between us.
In a strange moment of clarity, I remember him talking about Adra, the woman he loved before.
His mate—enduares were only recorded to have one.
That leaves me in the same position I’ve been in before. Eventually, there would come a point between us where it would end. And it would hurt.
I was coming to rely on Vann. Our friendship is… important to me.
I need to stop putting myself in positions where I can get hurt.
Vann moves quickly, leaning in to brush his lips to mine.
At the last moment, I reach up, placing my hand over his mouth, though not so soon that he stops his trajectory.
My palm pushes into my lips as he kisses me through the barrier of my hand. I expect him to pull back, but he doesn’t immediately.
There’s too much pain in the action.
For a second, I think about letting my hand slide down, and opening myself for him, the rest of the world be damned.