Instead, I break away and head back into the thick patch of trees past the gate. Once far enough away not to be heard, I kick the tree. It feels good. Hot breath pours from my lungs as I hit the tree again—funneling my frustration into the blows.
It hurts.
The skin on my right hand breaks, and I stop, gasping at the blood.
The sound of a hundred men marching makes me stop.
Fuck. Eneko will be home soon.
I need to leave, but something holds me back.SomeoneI shouldn’t give a damn about. Ra'Sa should be marching with these men.
And gods… he is.
Perhaps it’s the need for gentleness after being yelled at, but I watch him move and long to be held.
He walks at the front of the group. His tall, muscular arms are bare despite the winter chill. He carries his shirt in his arms, and his short hair hangs in mangey strands around his face as he shakes out the snow. The afternoon light seems to bend toward him and his tall frame. Everyone bends toward him.
He turns his head to the side, showcasing the graceful lines of his neck.
When he leans over to say something to one of the men, it’s almost as if I can feel the ghost of his breath on my neck. And when he graces the world with another one of his beautiful smiles, my heart constricts.
My head tilts to the side as I watch him go, and I slip around the back of the tree. He’s a mountain among men.
No, that sounds like a giant.
Ra’Sa is a volcano. Tall and stoic, but deadly.
He easily towers over the others. He would keep me safe.
But he wants his own babies.
I clutch my cloak tighter and hurry back to the cabin. I curse myself the entire way for wasting time.
When I make it through the copse of trees, my heart stutters, two shadows are visible through the curtain of the living room. They are shouting again.
“So that’s it? You’re going to fuck her with a stomach wound? I saw it—she can barely move. That’s why she’s not helping me with chores today!”
I hear something crash.
From one mess to another…
I inch closer to the house, sneaking around to the back, where I see the boys playing. They chase each other around thefront of my room. An icy chill spreads from my spine down my arms. Was I gone too long? Did Hibsej try to check on me?
“She belongs to me! Just like your pots and pans belong to you. If I need her, I will use her,” Eneko yells.
“Not until she is healed!”
“And how long will that be? If I know you, this is a scheme to get me to touch you. Is it not enough that I sleep next to you, night after night? Am I condemned to my hand for the rest of time?”
“You will do anything not to fuck me!” she shouts back.
I creep forward, thinking that the boys are otherwise distracted, only for their eyes to snap onto me as soon as I exit the trees.
“Who’s that?” the youngest asks.
I drop the hood of my cloak. “Easy, boys. It’s me.”
They stare at me. Neither moves to approach.