A soft “mamá” sounds behind me, and I hug the girls close. Gods, they’re walking so well.
I feared this woman until I went to the breeding pens—her dazed indifference often followed fiery anger. I’d thought she’d gotten better when she started taking care of the girls. In the beginning, she was softer,kinder. Sure, she was furious with me, but that didn’t extend to Thea and Wren.
“I came back. You’re being fed now. I wanted to see them. If my presence offends you, give me a quarter-hour, and I will be gone before you return,” I seethe.
“This is my house. I refuse to leave it for you,” she says. Those amber brown eyes turn up at me, burning. “In fact, don’t come back at all. We were better off without your visits—all we need is the food you send.”
My mouth parts. Sometimes she’s like this—she says things she doesn’t mean—but this time, I don’t know.
If I could, I’d take them now.
“The food you’re given comes with my visits,” I insist.
Griselda narrows her eyes. “Get out.”
That awful, choking emotion rises inside of me. My shortness of breath returns at the thought I won’t be able to see them.
“But—”
“Mamá,” Thea whimpers, fingers digging into my skirts.
“Get OUT!” Griselda yells, waving her hands. “I don’t want you back here, mucking up my home with your filth.”
My hands go to my daughters’ heads. I look down at them. Wren’s brown eyes meet mine.
She looks afraid. Unsure.
I choke when I think about raising them. I wouldn’t be a good mother to them—I don’t know how to take care of their needs. Hibsej would probably try to have me killed if she knew.
The Enduares know how to care for children, and I’d thought I found someone prepared to do just that. But Ra’Sa told me he wants a mate to have his own children. Not some human man’s cast-offs.
I take a deep breath, barely swallowing down the panic creeping up my throat. When I look at Griselda, she’s still fuming.
“¿Me escuchaste?”?3 she seethes.
“I will go, but I will find a way to check on them. And I swear, if they don’t start to gain weight, I will take them far away from here—from you. You will be alone, without any of the benefits my whoring brings you.”
It’s a bluff. I don’t have anywhere to take them yet.
Griselda opens her mouth, but I turn away and drop to my knees. I take both of my girls' faces and kiss their cheeks. Thea’s eyes go wide and her lip wobbles.
“Mamá, no te vayas. Por favor mami,”?4 she says in rapid-fire succession through bubbly tears.
“Shh,” I murmur, wiping away her tears, and then kissing her forehead. “This isn’t my last visit.”
Then I turn and kiss Wren, who has grown sullen and silent.
When I stand and face Griselda, my chest heaves. “Make sure you’re teaching them the common tongue. They can’t speak the human language forever.”
Griselda scoffs, all of her red-hot anger simmering down to numb nothingness.
"Leave," she says weakly.
“Remember that I love you,” I tell the girls as I walk out the door.
The phantom of the girls’ clinging to my dress remains as I straighten my cloak and step away from the den.
The girls’ tears hit me like a wave, almost making me turn back to barge into that room and comfort them as best as I can.