Naked. He stood naked in front of me, that silly grin on his face, and his cock hard as marble, spearing through the air excitedly as he stepped closer again. His hand moved between us, and I felt him touch me. I felt him reach for me, and I stood naked as well, and the pressure in my chest was so immediate and so sudden that I couldn’t breathe.
My eyes opened as frustration ate me alive. Now? Now I woke up?
I drew a labored breath into my lungs and shivered all over, stomach on fire and cock hard, throbbing in my pants, aching with each pulse.
A shudder passed through my body as I worked saliva into my mouth and swallowed, sweat drenching my sweater. I looked down, then undid my pants and saw what I expected. A dark stain seeped through my light blue underwear, warm and wet and annoying as hell.
I sat up, catching my breath, then stood, wincing as my dick reacted to the movement. It was so sensitive that the feeling rushed into my toes.
Heading into the bathroom, I undressed and let the hot water run. I didn’t even know what time it was. I just knew I hated this night more than I’d ever hated anything in my life. That I couldn’t have stayed asleep for a minute longer to bask in the glory that would forever be the closest I got to the real thing with Jason was a crime, but there was nobody I could go after. Nobody I could blame but myself.
I returned to the room naked and still raw from the hot water, grabbing clean underwear on my way to the bed. Dressed enough for sleep, I sat on the edge of the bed and pressed my hands against my eyes.
Why did he have to go ahead and give me a taste of something I’d never get again? Didn’t he know how cruel it was? He had to see I wasn’t exactly a catch. I stammered, got obsessed by the sort of things otherpeople hadn’t even heard about, and excelled at keeping a distance. My chances of scoring a guy were lower than the chances of winning a lottery or getting hit by a meteor.
I lay on my back, eyes shut and stars playing in the darkness.
I wasn’t going to go soft for a guy who clearly thought kissing me was a mistake. If there was one thing I could control in this whole mess, it was my actions. Sure, it hurt. It hurt like hell breaking loose in my chest, but I didn’t have todoanything about it.
So when the morning finally came, I continued my weekend like nothing had happened. I spent the morning at the library, took a gym break around noon to go off campus to a gym where nobody knew me, signed up for a membership on a whim, and immediately got spooked by the equipment.
It wasn’t my first time working out, and I’d gone to the campus gym a few times before, but I’d never done any serious, dedicated work, so I decided to approach it as I would any problem. I defined the goals and the challenges, then spent most of the afternoon testing out different machines until I knew exactly what each one did.
I didn’t know anything about sports, but I knew everything about human anatomy, so I identified groups of muscles affected by each piece of equipment and formed a plan by the end of the day.
The field work cost me a great dealbecause I dragged myself back to the house with sore muscles and liquid bones.
“Where were you all day?” Rowan asked.
“Gym,” I said.
He blinked, then cocked his head, letting the stunned silence drag. Then he shook his head and smiled to himself. “If you don’t want to tell me, just say so.”
“Ha-ha.” I moved through the kitchen to reach the fridge, then began piling up the ingredients for a protein-rich meal.
“You could have extended an invitation,” Rowan said.
“I didn’t plan on going,” I admitted. “I was at the library, and I realized I was hunching so low I was practically lying on top of the books. I figured it was time to get my shit together.”
Rowan crossed his arms and leaned against the kitchen island. “And it’s got nothing to do with you hanging out with a football jock these days.”
The stab went right into my heart, but I couldn’t blame Rowan. “We’re not…hanging out.”
“No. Of course not. He just comes around for our DnD out of nowhere, plays for three and a half hours, and freaking makes it the best game we played in months, then steals you for an hour outside. But you know, it’s all part of a tutoring scheme.”
I was losing my appetite fast. “Yes, as a matter of fact.”
Rowan flinched at my tone, then a frown creased the space between his eyebrows. “Bennet?”
“What?” It was a sigh, now, as I simmered in the shame of snapping at him.
“I’m just teasing you,” Rowan said.
I bit my lip and busied my fingers with the food on the counter. “I know. Sorry. I’m just a little tense.”
“Yeah, I can see that,” Rowan said. “I have to ask. Is it related to Jason?”
I shrugged. “In a way. Not really. Look, I’d really rather not go into it. I’ll be just fine in a day or two. And I have to meet him for a session at the library in an hour.”