I stuff my hands into my pockets and turn toward fraternity row. “Bye. Have a nice night!”
She’s lucky I didn’t have a flame available.
BetaKappa Eta’shouse is an old-world Tudor that spans several random directions. Like they kept expanding over the years to accommodate more students and used whatever land they owned at the time. Unlike spring or fall parties, everyone’s tucked completely inside. Only a few smokers linger at the front door. One of them opens it for me as I approach, weaving through a cloud of sweet tobacco.
It’s warm inside. Much more mellow than aDeltarager. But not distinguished like aThetaevent. It’s morenormal.
The music is pop. Boring. Walls are beige. Bland. Couples make out solo. People wait patiently in a line for the keg, but most carry bottles of basic beer. No one screams or throws things. There’s no cocaine orgy on the ping-pong table in the dining room.
In fact, most of the guys are surrounding a large TV, playing Mario Kart. A second room in the back, darkened to almost pitch black, has people watchingStar Warson a cinema screen. Someone made popcorn.
It’sdyingfor something to happen.
I wander toward the kitchen to find a drink and someone I might recognize. But I feel more alone surrounded by all these people than when I was in my room.
“You looking for one of these?” A disheveled and stressed-out-looking blond man reaches into the fridge and hands me a bottle of beer. Round, wire-rimmed glasses teeter on the tip of his nose, half steamed up with the heat blazing in the place.
“Sure.” I take the frosty glass from him and swivel off the top, taking a long swig to cool down. Ripping off my coat, I tuck it under an arm as he grabs a package of peanuts from a high cabinet nearby.
“These, too?”
I shrug. “I’ll take some.”
He pours out a handful for me, then pops some from the bag into his mouth. “I haven’t seen you here.”
“First time. I’m a freshman…”
“Ah.” Swiping his salty palm on his jeans, he nods casually, then sticks out his hand. “I’m Logan. The secretary ofBeta.”
“Ashlyn.” I shake his hand, and he blushes crimson. As if he’s never been touched. He yanks his hand back. “Did you know Julien?”
His eyes widen as he shoves his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Of course, I knew Julien. Was he your friend?”
Taking my time, I swallow back sadness. Maybe a tear forms before I reply, “Yes.”
“Sorry for your loss,” Logan says quietly. Probably because he doesn’t know what else to say.
“Can you show me his room?”
“Sure, I can. His parents haven’t come by to get his things yet. We told them to take their time. I think his dad was too overwhelmed to visit…” He aims toward the staircase in the front entry, and I follow.
We reach the second story and proceed down a few disjointed halls. At the entrance to a room labeled with a ‘233’, he pauses and gives me a sympathetic look. He taps a knuckle on the door, and a voice calls for us to enter.
“His roommate’s still there,” Logan whispers, showcasing the little dorm room.
Rowan sits up on a bed he’d been lying down in, his face clearly flushed with emotion.
Logan stammers, “Oh, sorry. I didn’t know you were… Um, Ashlyn here was Julien’s friend?—”
“I know who she is.” Rowan’s usual glare has dropped, replaced with icy indifference. He waves a hand nonchalantly around the room. “I said you can come the fuck in.”
Logan nods and steps aside as I enter. “You two have fun,” he says, then disappears back down the hall.
The room is small. Too tiny for both Rowan and me in here. One side of the room is clean, the bed made and covered in a plaid comforter that looks like something someone’s mom bought. The other has balled-up tissues scattered across the floor. Books on the Formica desk overflow with scribbled notes and a few electronics.
Knees to his chest, face buried in his arms, Rowan rots on the side that’s sharp and neat.
A poster of Fallingwater and an engraved plaque signed by Frank Lloyd Wright line the far wall. Gray slate paint covers up the faux wood-grain laminate. The chair is a knock-off Eames style in black leather with a walnut back. Everything on top is tidy. In perfect alignment. I appreciate it.