Algebra is the only thing that makes me pause. The test is on Friday. Aiden forced me to practice enough problems so that I should do well. Every stroke of my pencil makes my back molars grind with both irritation and lust at the memories of sitting on Aiden’s lap.
Betathrows a party on Thursday because those fucks cheat on their exams. Most students are finished for the semester already. Only a few of us are punished with lingering tests on the last day before winter vacation.
The end of my pencil snaps off as I bear down on the page after an incorrect answer. Why does it matter whatais in the equation? And what does it have to do with mid-century minimalism in design? Not a damn thing.
“Your groans are overtaking my study music. Could you pleaseremain quiet?”
I startle in my desk chair and flip around. “Oh. I forgot you were in here,” I tell Athena honestly. She’s a mouse, I swear. Little nose. Tiny, scurried movements. Like she learned to be quiet to avoid any attention on her whatsoever.
I kind of admire that, but could never do it.
She pulls her headphones back over her head and taps the volume button on her laptop repeatedly.
Stretching, I decide to give up. If I don’t know how to do this by now, what’s the use? May as well enjoy the ride while I’m here. If I fail out, I can always be a dealer at the casino or something. Maybe gamble at the top circuits.
I hurriedly, butsilently, put on some high-waisted, wide-legged jeans, a croppedOmegasweatshirt, and fluff my hair. After a dab of pink lip gloss and a swoop of eyeliner, I grab my coat and think about telling her she has the room to herself, but decide against it. I’m sure she’ll figure it out.
My pussy is sore from last night. Aching in a way that reminds me of what happened. Worse than that is the pain in my chest—the one settled behind my ribs that won’t move. For a moment, in the fogged glass and tangled breaths, I let myself believe we could slip backward. That we could return to something softer. Something real.
But the second the windows cleared, reality did too.
I’m not his.
He’s not mine.
Aiden dropped me off with another promise of fixing things for our future. But I’ve heard enough.
I need more.
Though Ididlet him kiss me goodnight. Only to indulge in his familiar gin-and-lemon flavor. Proof that I’ll choose poison if I like the way it burns going down.
BetaHouse is all the way across campus along fraternity row. Blistery chills seep under my coat as I stroll along thesidewalk. Snow drifts in tiny gusts of wind between buildings. The only white in a pitch-black night sky.
I don’t truly care about aBetaparty. But I’m hoping to get answers about Julien. I want to see where he lived. What life was like for him there. Maybe replay that sense of freedom I had to bemewhen he was around.
A golden glow of lights gleams onto the speckled path outside the Quad Cafe, open late for finals week. A chime echoes through the still air, louder than normal, given how peacefully quiet the evening is.
“Yes! He got it designed for me from the plans I had, he said. I wassosurprised.”
“He’s so romantic!”
“He’s a dream. I can’t wait to be Mrs. Hailey Cardell!”
My boot snares on a wayward crevice of concrete, and I stumble forward. Almost landing on Hailey’s outstretched hand. The one showing off herengagementring.
Fire ignites across my face as I raise and try to regain my balance.
“Watch it!” Hailey says, diving back a step to avoid our collision.
I smack her hand down, the glint of the diamond fading into the darkness. Then press my full-coated chest to hers. Fear widens her eyes as she holds up her coffee and backs away from me like a veiled threat.
“How about you stay out of my way?”
“You’recrazy. You know that, right?” Hailey snaps, but her voice shakes as she studies my fierce expression.
Another junior tugs on her arm. “Let’s go. Back up, Ashlyn…”
With a sinister smile, I do. One step. Then I reach up and hit the bottom of her cardboard cup until the lid flies off, hot drink spewing from the top like molten lava. The blonde bitch screams as she’s covered in brown frothy sludge.