“It is a comfortable sofa.”
“Indisputable.” The midnight blue suede put my thrift-store couch to shame.
“You need a blanket,” I said, thinking about the crocheted blanket I’d kept across the back of my couch. “For naps and stuff.”
“You have a point. Huge oversight.” He sounded almost wounded.
“It’s okay though. You’re pretty warm. Plus we have the fire.”
He kissed the top of my head. “Have you ever done yoga nidra?”
“Is that some kind of sex thing?”
He laughed and the rumble of it traveled to the far reaches of my body. “No, it’s a sleep thing, a sleep meditation. It can clear out your nervous system too, empty the mind.”
An empty mind sounded amazing. "Does it work?”
“It does for me. Sometimes I get up and draw anyway, but when I really need sleep, I can usually get there with yoga nidra.”
“How do you do it?”
“Well, first you just relax. Close your eyes and let your body feel heavy, let your head feel heavy, even your face.”
“Let my face feel heavy?”
He craned his neck to look down at me. “It’s not going to work if you keep talking.”
“Got it. No talking.” I pretended to zip my lips and throw away the key, then worked on making my face feel heavy.
“Now take three really deep breaths in through your nose and exhale forcefully through your mouth.”
We did it together and I laughed at the sound it made, like a whoosh of wind. Then I remembered the no-talking rule and figured it probably extended to laughing.
“Now three more inhales through the nose, but this time when you exhale, do it like you’re breathing through a tiny straw so it takes a while to get all the air out.”
I got less distracted as I followed his instructions, my mind quieter as it focused on letting the air leak slowly out of my mouth instead of exhaling all at once.
“Feel the places where your body is in touch with me or the sofa,” Jude said, his voice softer, slower. “Starting with your head and working your way down.”
I noticed the warmth of Jude’s bare chest under my cheek, the push of my shoulder into the sofa, my hip, my thigh, the way our feet, Jude’s bare and mine in socks, touched.
“Sense the room around you,” he said. “The ceiling, the walls, the floor.”
It was weird but when I paid attention, Icouldsense it. I could feel the living room sheltering my body like a giant cocoon.
“Now listen to the sounds around you, starting with the ones farthest away.” Jude’s voice had gotten almost hypnotic, and my mind started to feel fuzzy. “If you listen closely, you can hear the wind outside.”
I heard it, not blowing hard, but there every few seconds.
“Don’t work to hear it. Just notice it’s there, then notice the sounds that are close: the crackling of the fire, my voice, the inhale and exhale of your own breath.” I was drifting now, not asleep but maybe as relaxed as I’d ever been. “Now we’re going to notice parts of our bodies, one by one. You’re not goingto move them, you’re just going to sense them, starting with your right hand, the top of your hand, your palm, your thumb, first finger, second finger, ring finger, little finger. Notice your right wrist… your forearm, elbow, shoulder… right chest… right waist… hip… thigh…”
It was the last thing I heard before I fell into sleep.
46
LILAH
I tappedthe steering wheel of my car and looked at the building on the other side of the parking lot. It was generic and nondescript, a beige one-story structure squatting at the edge of town, a sign out front readingBlackwell Police Department.