“Go slow,” I whisper. “Really fucking slow. If you think you’re going slow enough, you’re not.”
Cassius listens so well. He does exactly as I say perfectly. It’s an overwhelming mix of being teased and edged. I’m breathing so heavy, I’m lightheaded, but this is heaven. My hands are shaking and my mouth is dry. But I hold on for as long as I can, obsessed with watching him take my cock. Seeing the way I disappear inside him, hearing his moans… perfect. So damn perfect.
“Cassius,” I groan as the orgasm hits me. My dick pulses so hard it almost hurts. I see stars, my body overrun with pleasure. It takes me a few seconds to come back to reality. I catch my breath, then reach around him to make sure he knows I’m going to get him off again—like I made him promise.
His dick is wet, and he looks at me over his shoulder with reddened cheeks.
“Already did,” he says, smirking.
I pull him around so he’s lying on top of me. I hug him tight, kiss his head, and say something I’ve never said to anyone.
“I love you.”
Chapter Forty-Three
Cassius
I stop breathing, wondering if I heard what I think I heard.
“Did you just say—”
“You don’t have to say anything back…”
I push up to look him in the eyes. We’re still chest to chest, his heart pounding against mine.
“You love me?”
He gives me the softest look I’ve ever seen—from him or anyone else. “I do. Is that okay?”
“Fuck,” I breathe out, tears welling in my eyes again. “Of course it’s okay.” I rest my head on his chest and listen to the rhythmic thumping of his heart.
“I think I love you too,” I say so quietly I don’t know if he hears me.
But the small whoosh of breath that sounds almost like a laugh tells me he did.
“You think?”
I run my fingers along his side and over his ribs, hard enough that it won’t tickle, but gentle enough he knows I’m trying to be sweet.
“I’m not sure that I know what it means to love someone who isn’t family, but what I feel for you… it’s pretty serious. So, it has to be that…”
Harmon takes my face between his hands and makes me look at him. He’s always making me look at him, and it used to be hard. But… it’s getting easier.
“I never knew what love was either, not until you. Until this. I didn’t know it could be like this with someone.”
“Neither did I,” I admit, taking in a shaky breath. “It’s a little scary.”
“I agree. But I trust that we can figure this out together.”
“We can.”
He kisses me, a soft peck of his lips, and I rest my cheek on his chest. His fingers find my hair.
We’re quiet for a while, enjoying being close. His body is firm and warm beneath me, his heart lulling me into the most calming space I’ve ever been in.
I could get used to this. Laying with him, being this close, every night. For the first time since I’ve met him, I allow myself to think of a future. Not only with him, but for me. Just me. I don’t think about Cammy or Chrissy. I don’t think about what I am going to do for them or how I am going to help them get through their lives and their struggles. I think about me, and what I want.
It’s easy to imagine a future with Harmon. I can’t picture it here, in this house, but a smaller one in a nice neighborhood. White picket fence with a dog. I see Christmases and Halloweens and Sunday dinners with my sisters. I see us getting up in the morning to go to work together and falling asleep every night in his arms. My heart aches, and yet I’m happy at the same time. Maybe it’s a good ache. Maybe it’s my body telling meyes, this is the right move.