At the snack bar, I requested the staff put the nachos in a to-go container and ordered two sets of sliders to take with us. I was waiting for the food when a hand clapped me on the shoulder.
I turned to find my dad with his cowboy hat tipped back and his salt-and-pepper brows raised. “Thought that was your rig I saw fly by the barn earlier.”
“Hey, old man,” I said, giving him a hug with a hard pat on the back before releasing him.
“Don’t you ‘hey, old man’ me, shithead.”
“What did I do now?” I laughed, but before I’d even finished the question, I knew.
“You got engaged, without giving me a heads up beforehand that you were going to ask Maisey or even thinking to tell me after she said yes.”
I glanced out toward the water to the lounge chair where Maisey was waiting for me, glad she wasn’t nearby to overhear this conversation. I didn’t need Dad scaring her off, especially when she needed this as much as I did now.
“Is she here with you now?” Dad demanded, looking in the same direction as me. “Heard you already moved in together.”
I ran a hand through my hair, debating whether to tell him the truth. Dad and I had always been straight with each other. Always. But I knew his takeon love and marriage, knew he believed in the institution, even after his wife tried to burn down our home with me in it, and his fiancée left us because she’d loved her work more than she did us. Dad would still think it was some sort of blasphemy to enter into an agreement for marriage in the way Maisey and I had.
“We wouldn’t have moved in together yet, but you might have also heard about her dad’s place catching fire. They’re both living with me while the repairs are made,” I said, giving him a partial answer.
Dad took a slow, calming breath, fixing me with a steely glower. “Beckett. That girl has had stars in her eyes looking at you since she was knee high to a grasshopper. You can’t mess around with her like this. If you tell me you love her and want a future with her, I’ll be happy for both of you. But we just had a conversation the other day about grandkids that nearly sent you running for the hills, and now you tell me you’re getting married?”
He was right. When he’d brought up kids, I hadn’t told him I was dating Maisey or thinking about marrying her. Instead, I’d panicked, as I always did, at the thought of being tied to someone.
I also wasn’t an idiot. There’d been times as a teenager when I’d known Maisey felt something more for me, the same way Del did. But I’d sworn I’d never be the reason another woman nearly died. And since Maisey returned to Swift Rivers, she hadn’t shown a hint of wanting me that way.
We were friends. Nothing more. She’d even played wingwoman while I found a tourist to take home, never so much as flinching. Because Maisey understood my limitations. She’d seen the wreckage up close, way back when I was eight and my mom had traded me for a payout.
Dad had agreed to not pursue an investigation into the fire if she gave up custody. And she’d taken the money from their divorce and run east. He’d packed us into the truck and driven west, as if putting miles between us could erase the connection, and the damage, my mother had done. But it hadn’t. And when Liza left, Maisey saw that destruction too. I’d sworn I’d never be my dad. I’d never keep offering up a heart that only knew how to bleed.
Still…if anyone could fit into my life, it was Maisey.
I remembered what Kasey had said at the station, about Maisey and me just fitting, and what Tejas had said about us being couple goals. Maybe what we had was better than love’s false promises. Maybe marrying Maisey was exactly what I needed in my life.
Even as the thought settled, I was shaking my head at the ridiculousness of it. Maisey should have the undying love she wanted. I could give her friendship. I could give her sex—really damn good sex—but not a happilyever after.
“What are you shaking your head for?” Dad asked.
I dragged a hand through my wet hair. I couldn’t give Maisey forever, but we could offer each other a temporary solution to our temporary problems and maybe even a temporary sating of the lust that dangled in the air between us these days. A fix for the ache.
Dad wouldn’t approve of that any more than he’d approve of me proposing to Maisey.
So I simply gave him a half-truth, saying, “Neither of us is going into this with our eyes closed. Maisey and I both agreed this was what we wanted.”
Dad let out an exasperated breath, proving he wasn’t an idiot either because he read between the lines and came up with some, if not all, of what I wasn’t telling him. “This is some dumbass arrangement, then.” When I still didn’t answer, he kept going. “Is this about the fire chief job?”
“This is about Maisey and me and what we both need right now.” It was as close to admitting the truth as I could come.
“Damn it, Beck. You both deserve more than this. You deserve a love so all-consuming you can’t think of anything but ending your day and getting back to that person. A love that has you offering up your right hand if it’ll mean the other person doesn’t suffer a single inconvenience. A passion you see as a gift and not as a burden. I hate that bearing witness to my failures with love scarred you, closing you off to the possibilities just because my attempts at it didn’t turn out right.”
When I scoffed and started to say something, he cut me off. “I don’t regret your mother, because our time together gave me you, and you’re the best thing in my life. I don’t regret Liza, because she showed me I still had love to give. But if you do this with Maisey half-assed, you will regret it. You’ll hurt her and lose a piece of yourself you’ll never get back.”
Before I could respond, Maisey joined us. She had both our bags slung over her shoulders and my dog’s leash in her hand.
Vador yipped excitedly at my father, and Dad bent to give the wet mutt a whole-body rub.
Maisey darted a look from me to my father and back, as if sensing the tension in the air.
She smiled weakly. “Hi, Kurt.”