I rubbed at my chest, the ache there growing until it might consume me.
I couldn’t come up with a better solution. Not today.
When I opened my eyes, I let out a resigned sigh and even managed a twisted, fake grin. “Don’t tell my dad it’s babysitting. He’ll have a conniption and move back out.”
“We’ll figure out something to tell him.”
I nodded. Beckett looked over at the food neither of us was hungry for anymore. He picked up the plate. “Let me get this wrapped to go. I’ll order something for your dad while I’m up there, and we can head home.”
I nodded because I couldn’t speak. Too many words and too many emotions were locked in my throat. Not just at what he’d offered and what he was doing for me, but because of that single word he’d uttered—home.
But Beckett’s house wasn’t mine. We weren’t going to get a happily ever after. Not now. Not ever. And if my heart didn’t accept that soon, it wasn’t going to be just my dad in trouble. I’d be so torn up there’d be nothing left of me for anyone to rescue.
Chapter Fourteen
Beckett
LOVE THIS PAIN
Performed by Lady A
EIGHT YEARS AGO
HER: Why are guys so lame?
HIM: I’ll try not to take offense. What’s up?
HER: If all you plan is one night with someone, just be upfront about it.
HIM: Whose dick do I need to rip off?
HER: No one of importance. What I mean is, don’t make it seem like you’re into someone, like you want to start a relationship, when all you really want is a few hours of sex.
HIM: Maise… Are you okay?
HER: I’m fine. Really. It’s just…disappointing. The entire thing was disappointing. The sex was disappointing. He was disappointing. I guess I was probably disappointing too, otherwise he would have wanted to see me again, right?
HIM: Fuck this guy. You are NOT a disappointment. You’re a goddamn angel.
HER: No one wants to sleep with an angel, Beckett. Sweet and innocent is boring. You don’t go for the quiet girl in the room. You go for the sexy dynamo you think will tie you to the bed.
HIM: Hate to break it to you, darlin’, but I don’t ever want to be tied to a bed.
HER: No? I guess I can see that about you. You’d want all the control.
HIM: Sex shouldn’t be about power and control. It should be about giving each other equal pleasure.
HER: But there’s pleasure in giving up control, right?Feeling safe enough to let go.
HIM: You’ve been reading too many romance books. You should always feel safe when you’re having sex. If you don’t, you shouldn’t be doing it.
PRESENT DAY
As I stalked toward the snackbar with the untouched plate of nachos, I was virtually kicking myself in the ass.
Maisey had smiled and laughed, just as I’d intended when I’d left the house. The worry had slipped off her shoulders for a few minutes, and she’d even, briefly, tossed aside her normal inhibitions with that little stunt in the cove. But I’d pushed the taunt a step too far and caused her to run.
But the day could still have been saved. I could have returned to our lounge chairs and made a joke. Instead, I’d brought up what Ron had found out about the fire and stolen any chance of laughter from her. The truth was, she’d needed to know, but I could have allowed her a few more moments of levity before dropping the hammer.