My stomach turned. As a kid, I’d been happy to do every chore at Dad’s side, even this ugly one. I’d wanted nothing more than to be just like him, but the fire in Alabama had changed everything. And once a firefighter had saved my life, all I’d wanted to do was pay it forward by saving others.
“Castrating cows, huh? So, you had a hearty breakfast of sausage andeggs over easy,” I teased and was rewarded with a choking sound from Dad.
“Bastard. How’d I raise such a bastard?”
I chuckled, imagining Dad’s bushy eyebrows furrowing together as he tipped his cowboy hat back and angled his leathery face toward the morning sunshine.
“Just for that, I’m tempted tonottell you the rumor I heard,” Dad taunted.
“You can’t keep a secret to save your life, old man.”
“Now that’s just a flat-out lie. I know how to hold my tongue when it’s needed. I’m just smart enough to know when to let it wag too.”
A smile stretched across my face, but I felt a tug deep inside. I missed him.
“We need to get together soon. It’s been too long.”
“Now that’s what a father really wants to hear. Guess you’ve earned that rumor after all,” he said. “Mumblings around town are that Nattingly is turning in his fire hat for good.”
The same mix of excitement and anticipation I’d felt when Del had mentioned it last night returned. “I might’ve heard something similar. Think it’s true?”
“Don’t know the man well, but when people get to be my age, we start thinking about how to get up and spend more time lounging in the sun than breaking our backs sweating in it.”
“Are you talking about yourself now, old man? What would you do if you hung up your cowboy hat? Sleep in a hammock all day?” When I didn’t get the immediate laugh I’d been expecting, I continued, “Really, Dad? You considering retirement?”
“I’m sixty-five, Beckett. This work is hard on these brittle bones. I’ve been thinking about doing some traveling before I can’t carry my own bag.”
My throat clogged, partly at the thought of Kurt Romero struggling to pick up anything and partly at the idea of his wanting to travel. It had been one of the main breaking points in his relationship with Liza.
What am I supposed to do, Liza? Drag Beckett away from the friends and family we’ve made here so we can trot around the globe after you? For how long? Years? I can’t do that. Not when my son has finally found his feet after that crap Camila pulled.
Dad never knew that I’d heard their argument before she’d left. I hated knowing I was partially responsible for the demise of their relationship.
I cleared the lump that had formed in my throat and said, “You make a list of the places you want to go, and we’ll hit them up together during our vacations.”
“If you get the fire chief position, you aren’t going on vacation for another twenty years,” he scoffed.
It soured my anticipation for the job just a hair. Taking it would absolutely mean I had less time for Dad and friends like Maisey.
When I didn’t say anything, Dad’s voice got serious. “You know how I’d really like to spend my retirement years, Beck?”
“Getting laid on a beach in Maui?”
He snorted. “I’d like to play with my grandkids the way Teddy gets to play with his. Never thought I’d be jealous of the man, but there it is.”
Surprise shifted through me as I pulled into the parking lot behind the station. Dad had never pressured me to find love, get married, and have kids. Never even hinted that he hoped to have grandbabies.
“Dad—”
“No, no. Don’t say anything. I’m sorry I even let it slip. Truth is, Fallon and Parker treat me like family. Their babies are all but mine in name. You live the life you want, Beck. The only people you ever need to answer to are God and yourself.”
After everything we’d been through, all the losses, I couldn’t rely on faith the way my father still did, just like I didn’t believe in past lives or soulmates like Maisey. People weren’t fated tobeanything or tobe withanyone. Screw ordained destiny if it meant having people tear your heart out by abandoning you.
Because my mood had turned decidedly for the worse, and I didn’t want him to know it, I signed off. “I love you, old man.”
“Love you too, son. Go get that job you want, make it yours, and kick some fire ass. Just be safe doing it.”
“Will do. You watch the hooves directed at your balls today. I don’t want to have to sendyouto get castrated.”