The hour driveto Knoxville was already rough, but the additional feeling of worry made it worse. I’d barely slept after making the mistake of Googling all the tests I’d missed while not knowing I waspregnant.
My doctor was going to have questions. Lots of them. And I’d been going over every choice I’d ever made the last few months. Had I eaten healthy enough? Did I have a sip of wine? Had I slept on my stomach ever?
When I’d called, the nurse stumbled over her words when I told her how far along I suspected I was. When she went to talk to the doctor and came back with an appointment for the very next day, I knew they were worried.
I was a dangerous mix of emotions, all of which felt amplified. All I could do was put one foot in front of the other and make it to the next thing I needed to do. Dean was still on my mind, but I didn’t know where to begin with him.
After parking in a lot, I had to walk farther than I wanted to get into the office. I had skipped breakfast and was regretting it. I’d need to eat immediately after the appointment.
I sat at the back of the waiting room after checking in and opened my phone. I needed something to occupy my hands with while I waited.
Without thinking, I opened Dean’s website again. Brooke’s words rang loudly in my mind, but I knew I wasn’t the kind of person who could do that to someone. Dean had a right to know. He might hate me, but he should still know.
Biting my lip, I opened a message box, but I had no clue what to say.
Hey, sorry to bother you, but I’m pregnant.
No. That wasn’t enough.
Hey, it’s Grace Day. Can we talk?
God, would he even answer that?
I had no idea how to tell him about this. I didn’t know him well enough to deliver the news in a way that wouldn’t make him mad. This was why I always got to know people. So when things went wrong, I could say it the right way.
My fingers hovered over the keys, and the longer I tried to figure out what to say, the more they shook.
“Grace Day?” a voice called. I jumped up.
“That was quick,” I said to the nurse. I’d come here for years. They were the ones who’d diagnosed me with PCOS when I kept missing periods.
“We can move fast when we need to.” She smiled and then looked at my chart. “Now, you’ve had some changes.”
I swallowed. “Yes, I have.”
“We’ll get it figured out,” she said. “First things first, we want a urine sample to confirm, though I have a feeling it’ll be a quick answer.”
“It will be,” I muttered.
She gave me another comforting smile. “Then we’ll do some bloodwork and talk to you about your lifestyle and what to do from here on out. We might also do an ultrasound.”
“I’ll see the baby now?”
“Hopefully, yes.”
Hopefully?God, what if there was nothing there?
As my heart kicked up in speed, I wished things had gone a different way. I was terrified to do this alone. Would it have been easier with a partner I’d been planning this with?
Hell, wouldlifebe easier with that?
I used the bathroom, they lined me up for bloodwork, and I was shuffled back to the waiting room. It somehow felt worse than when Jade and I had done this in the back of the shop.
Maybe I should have had her come.
I’d been brave since Mom died, but I wasn’t sure I was built for doing things alone. Considering my dating history, I was pretty sure I’d have to get used to it.
My name was called again, this time by a woman I didn’t know. She introduced herself as April, the ultrasound technician, and led me to the back.