Caleb is quiet for a moment. Then he clears his throat. “You’re right,” he says, his voice rough. “I need to let go of the past. I need to trust you. I always knew you were tough—hell, it’s one of the main reasons I fell for you—and I know now more than ever that you can handle it.”
“What makes you say that?” I ask, confused.
“Because of the way you reacted to this. You didn’t come in here and demand I give up racing. A lot of girlfriends would have.”
My eyes fill with tears again. “How could I ever ask you to give up what you were born to do? Youloveracing. It’s yourpassion. You have to be the one to want to walk away. It doesn’t mean I’ll never be anxious or nervous for you, but I can handle it. That’s a promise.”
“I love you so damn much,” he whispers.
He blurs in my vision. “I love you, too.”
“So we take this on together. No more hiding. You’re mine, and I want everyone to know it.”
I smile up at him. “Yes.”
He kisses me again, but this time, it’s sweet and gentle, and I treasure every second of it. After we part, I remember that Catherine is out there waiting. “Catherine is here,” I say. “She wants to see you. I should let her in.”
“No, I’m ready to go,” Caleb says. Then he links his fingers with mine, and I smile up at him.
“So we walk out of this building hand in hand and start our lives the way we want?”
He grins. “Yep. It’s lights out and away we go.”
My heart is full.
Lights out indeed,I think, smiling happily.And away we go.
But this time, we go together. And I can’t wait to see where we go from here.
Epilogue
The End of August
The Dutch Grand Prix
Zandvoort, Netherlands
The Paddock
“I love Zandvoort,” I say.
Zandvoort, home of the Dutch Grand Prix, is a seaside town known for its beaches. The circuit is actually built in the sand dunes, which makes it pretty amazing in my book. Caleb and I have arrived at the paddock together for media day, and lucky Caleb is one of the drivers scheduled to be interviewed today for the press conference—ha ha.
He gives me a side-eye as the stroopwafel vendor hands me a fresh one. “You just want the hot stoopwafels, Owl.”
I take a bite of the hot wafel with caramel syrup filling as we walk toward the Collings motorhome. Cameras are still all around us—including those for theLights Outshow—but in the time since Spielberg, it’s become more normal. We’ve both come to accept it as a part of our lives now.
I reflect on this as I enjoy my Dutch treat. The media spotlight was intense when we came out as a couple. Caleb got asked about it all the time, and he always responded the same way. He’d say to the reporter, “I think the answer is obvious,don’t you?” We both had to learn to tune out the hurtful comments, and I can’t thank Hadleigh enough for what she has done for me. She filtered comments, deleting the nasty ones. She blocked trolls. If there was a comment that needed a response, she’d tell me what it was, I would tell her the answer, and she’d post it on my behalf. She’s doing so much work. Caleb wants to pay her for it, but she said her job has been really slow this summer, so it actually gives her something to do, and she’s happy to do it.
Although it does make her want to throat punch people some days.
I told her that payment could come in the form of flying her out to Austin or Las Vegas for a race and introducing her to Xavier, who she jokingly calls her future husband, and we get a good giggle out of it. I actually sent her some Xavier stickers I found on Etsy, and she proudly displays them on her laptop. We find it very funny, and Caleb just shakes his head at us and calls us weird.
Caleb has changed since that day in Austria, too. He’s actually doing more things for Collings Motors’ social media, as he realizes this helps people see he’s not an asshole, which is the image some people might have thanks to how he handles press conferences and because he used to refuse to do social media stuff. But thanks to dating me, he sees the value in sharing some of himself, and he can actually have a little fun when doing it. Like today? He and Mason are going to make waffles, and that’s something he would have resisted or heavily complained about doing prior to dating me.
Speaking of Mason, he’s still second in the Drivers’ Championship standings, but Caleb is challenging him, racking up a win at the Hungarian Grand Prix before the summer break, and it’s going to be very spicy as we head into the second half of the season.
Xavier is unstoppable at this point, but with that said, Collings Motors is treating Caleb and Mason as two number-one drivers, and so far, they’ve made it work. But I know that eventually, they will each want to be the true number-one driver—as in theonlyone. I think how they end up in the Drivers’ Championship will determine who is the number one for the next season. Caleb doesn’t want it given to him—he would be furious if he earned it based on his name, I know that with certainty. Playing on his name is something he refuses to do, and I admire him for it.