For another few minutes, we walk together, the two of us mesmerized by Sapphire laughing and joking with our dad. He doesn’t speak much on bad days, but on others, like today, he’s coherent and answers Sapphire’s questions or agrees with her with ease and confidence like the man I once knew. Albeit slightly slurred or stuttered, but he never gives up trying.
“She’s something really special, brother.” Cole sounds in awe of Sapphire’s patience with Dad.
“She is.” She’s patient with me too.
And she laughs at the small things that I often get uptight about, things she seems to be able to brush off, unbothered. It makes me notice that I don’t always have to control everything.
Like today for instance. It wasn’t the disaster I catastrophized in my head. No one died, the world didn’t end when I didn’t get back to my apartment by the time I calculated we would. It’s been nice. Easy.
Slowly, I feel her energy seep into me, and seeing how she handles minor distractions without panic, I realize I can too, showing me that life doesn’t fall apart when things aren’t perfect.
Her calm and easy smile makes my racing mind feel a little quieter at times too.
Since we started walking, I’ve noticed myself breathing differently. My chest isn’t tight, and the need to make everything perfect doesn’t scream as loudly.
“Hold on to that one.”
“I’m going to try.”
I want to believe I can, but as I watch her laugh with my dad, a flicker of doubt slips through me. Nothing this good ever seems to last, but I sure as hell want to hold on to her for as long as I can. Infinity would be my choice.
Shut up, Eli, now you’re getting ahead of yourself.
28
SAPPHIRE
I don’t know what I expected when Eli dropped me off earlier, but a kiss on the cheek at the doorstep wasn’t it.
The testosterone was practically radiating off him, smelling irresistibly sexy, and all I got was a quick peck.
I rest my head on the back of my front door and let out a sigh, remembering the smile that spread across his lips, a smile that could stop hearts. That might have already happened when he kissed me for the first time. It was the ultimate kiss, one I will remember for the rest of my life.
He’s so confusing though, like a puzzle waiting to be solved. One minute, he was holding my hand on the steps leading up to my house after we got out of Cole’s car; then the next, a quick kiss on the cheek, and suddenly, there were no plans to see each other. Zero.
Hot and then cold, I can’t keep up.
Maybe he was waiting for me to suggest dinner or a movie… Do people still go to the movies for dates? I haven’t been to the movies for as long as I can remember.
The jingle-jangle of Ghost’s collar signals his presence, as his small paws patter along the hall.
“Hey, buddy.” I bend down low to welcome him as he trots toward me, then rubs himself against my knees, weaving between my legs, circling me, purring and swishing his bushy tail high, whipping my face. “Did you miss me, huh?” He arches his back when I dig my fingers into his fur, his chest trilling in pleasure as he lets out a high meow. “Did Mistee look after you?” He butts his head into my hand in reply. Of course she did. Mistee loves Ghost as much as I do.
When she called earlier to ask what time I’d be home because she had another date with the guy she met recently, I told her to leave right away. After her husband cheated on her and left her heartbroken for years, I’d never stop love from finding its way to her. She deserves it more than anyone.
Just then, my cell phone rings from inside the overnight bag Eli’s mom gave me to hold my shoes and purse to bring them home in.
I give a side glance at the dress bag my dress is in as I walk past it hanging on the coat stand in my hallway. I did tell Eli’s mom, Michelle, it was unnecessary, but she was insistent, saying it would prevent it from creasing any further after being laid over a chair all night.
Pushing my hand into the overnight bag, I scramble around to find my cell phone, and butterflies take flight in my stomach when I see Eli’s name lighting up the screen.
Accepting the call, I hit the speaker and ask teasingly, “Missing me already?”
“I do, I regret not kissing you properly. I also regret not asking you to dinner tonight. Have dinner with me tonight at my place.” It’s more of an instruction than a question.
And holy swoonballs.
This is it.