“You’re not fine,” he chides, scratching his arms, which are exposed today. At work, he hides his tattoos under black long-sleeved shirts, but today he’s wearing a T-shirt. Yesterday was the first time I’d seen Cole in a white shirt in years.
“I am fine.” I’m irked by his aloof line of questioning.
“So why are you seeing a therapist?”
I flinch, his question catching me off guard, his gaze never faltering. “How do you know that?”
“Tessa let it slip the other day when I was trying to coordinate a meeting with you, Max, and Nathan about the new client-facing app I have someone coming in to demonstrate. Max and Nathan were only free at the time you had a private appointment scheduled. I went to ask Tessa if she could reschedule, and when I asked her what it was, she got all flustered and just blurted it out when I said I would ask you myself.”
Shit.
“Blame me. It’s all my fault. I pushed her for an answer because I’m worried about you, Elijah.” He shifts on his feet next to me.
“I know.” We all worry about each other; that’s what families do.
“So, what’s up? Will you tell me what’s going on?” Uncertainty creeps into his expression as if he does not know what way I will go.
To share or not to share? Either way, it won’t make me feel any better. But I’m coping, I think, and that’s all that matters.
“Maybe one day.”
He lays his hand on my shoulder. “You know I am here for you, right?” He regards me quizzically as if he’s trying to figure me out like a puzzle.
“Thanks, man, I appreciate that.” I don’t want to talk about my just-right OCD with him here. Or anywhere. I switch the conversation. “Who’s presenting the app demonstration?” We’ve been talking about developing an app for years, ensuring people are matched with the correct department when they make enquiries and can seek advice 24/7.
“Someone called Yasmine Montgomery from FusionTech. They’re our web developer, but I asked marketing if they could put together an app proposal for us to help manage clients. We need it.”
“Is Yasmine the developer?”
“Yeah, she’s new, awesome at her job, and we’d be the first law firm to have an app like it. FusionTech said she had some great ideas, but I want all the department heads and the four of us brothers to see the demonstration. If it’s not right for us, we can look elsewhere.”
“I agree.” Our customer management system we currently have is outdated and needs a massive overhaul. I hope Yasmine is as good as FusionTech say she is because we need a miracle.
“You should invite Sapphire over to your place for dinner tonight.” Cole coolly changes the subject, begins walking again, and I follow his lead, grateful that he doesn’t pressure me for an answer.
“Yeah?” I reply, my shoulders widening with confidence, liking that idea. “She’s never been to my place before.” I hope she likes it.
“The question is, do you want dinner and more? Or just dinner?” He tosses me a look, not needing to explain what he means by more.
I punch the top of his arm. “You’re such an idiot.” I rip out words impatiently. I’m not sharing intimate details about what I do with Sapphire with Cole. Or anyone.
“Ow.” He rubs his bicep that I barely made a dent in. He’s been working out for months, and his arms are massive now. “I’m just trying to live vicariously through you, Max, and Nathan. With Nathan married now, Max all loved up with Paige, and now you’ve bagged yourself a real-life fucking mermaid. I mean, what the fuck am I supposed to do? I haven’t fucked for months. Online dating apps are shit, and Libby is dating someone, I’m sure of it.” He rubs his scruff in annoyance.
I notice a hint of disapproval in his tone regarding Libby. They have this strange arrangement in which they go on separate dates—on the same night and at the same time—and then meet afterward to compare notes.
He would never admit it, but he’s hooked on those apps, and I think the real reason he’s never been successful is because of Libby. He’s hooked on the apps because it means he can date and maintain a superficial connection with Libby as a way of keeping her close. She’s holding him back, without even realizing it, because he’s too much of a coward to tell her he has a crush on her. Although if I looked a little closer, I’d probably see that he’s actually scared he’ll get his heart broken again, so he keeps himself stuck in limbo. He might think he wants someone in his life, but he’s got himself in a chokehold and not fully committing to anyone who could potentially be his forever.
“Do you have a thing for Libby?” I ask, cautiously.
“Honestly, I don’t know if I like Libby or not.” Cole laughs to cover his confusion. “I thought I did, but I don’t think she likes me that way. We’re good friends but that’s about it. Anyway.” He lets out a sigh. “Forget about me. What do you think of Max dating Paige Bradshaw?” he asks slowly. His words sound more like a concern than a question.
“I hope she makes him happy.” That’s the truth. “I just hope nothing happened between them when they were working on an active case together, though.”
“Max would never do anything stupid like that, would he?” Cole plucks a yellow flower from the soil as he passes.
“I hope he wouldn’t.” Or there could be serious repercussions for their clients and them.
Second-guessing each other isn’t something we usually do, but Arianna tested our bond, and I never want to go through that again. It turned out we could trust her, but her trusting us was a different matter, and I get now why she hid who she was and why she came to work at Hart Law. It all worked out in the end, but it was wild for a few months and barely any of us spoke to each other.