“Elijah.” Sapphire’s gentle tone brings me back to reality with a bump.
She makes her way from the middle of the bed, bringing the comforter with her, wrapping it around her shoulders, and then she stands toe to toe with me. “Just breathe.”
I do, in and out, in and out, but it’s shaky and uneven.
“Everything’s going to be okay, Elijah.”
“You don’t know that.” I shake my head vigorously, terror crawling beneath my skin, that familiar feeling of undeniable dread increasing digging into my ribs and my lungs. I’m powerless. My control is gone, and my panic is rising.
“I don’t, you’re right,” Sapphire replies calmly. “But you can’t let what you don’t know overtake that. Let’s get to the hospital to see what the doctor says first.”
“You stay here; I’ll go,” I say, much harsher than I mean to.
“I want to come.” She reaches up and cups my face, and with each breath I take, I struggle.
I need to go.
Alone.
I don’t want to talk.
“You stay here,” I instruct. “You have a huge day tomorrow, and you need your sleep.” She’s doing a TEDx Talk tomorrow. There will be thousands in attendance and it will be viewed by millions online. If Dad isn’t in a good place, I’m going to miss the most significant event of her life. She’s been fretting about it for weeks, practicing every night and day. This sucks. Big time.
“Are you sure?” she asks, her voice full of worry.
My hands twitch, itching to take charge and straighten our clothes lying on the floor.
“I’m certain. Can you tidy everything up, please?” It might seem unimportant, but Sapphire understands my reasons and agrees, stepping away from me as I turn to bolt and briskly walk out of the bedroom.
“Keep in touch,” she calls after me, and all I can do is wave my hand in the air in response.
“And don’t worry if you can’t make it tomorrow.” Her voice travels into the hall, her disappointment loud and clear.
I was right when I told Sapphire weeks ago that every time I get something good, it slips right through my fingers.
Being on cloud nine was a fleeting dream. I knew it was too good to be true.
Then I’m in my car, speeding down the freeway as a whirl of fear threatens to pull me under, dragging me in a direction I never wanted to go back in.
41
SAPPHIRE
“What are you doing here?” Eli asks, staring at me from behind his desk.
I try not to be offended by his biting tone, schooling my emotions to curb my annoyance at his rudeness, but my patience is starting to wear thin.
He’s being a douche canoe and he knows it, and yet it hasn’t stopped him from being one.
“Well, if things won’t come to you, make your own way to them.” He’s been avoiding my calls all day. Not just today but for the last three days.
It’s killing me to see him go through this pain, but he refuses to talk to me about his dad. I’ve already decided not to push him, for fear of sending him into a hole so deep he might never come out.
He grunts.
Oh, great, we’re back to Elijah Hart’s old ways.
“How is your dad this afternoon?” I place his takeout coffee on the coaster, which I grabbed on the way here, and lay two boxed donuts on his desk right next to it.