“I'm going to let him help pay for all of this. Whatever the insurance won’t cover. I have to admit, recovering at home seems much better than a rehab facility. I want to be home. And I need to move on from the past. So do you.” She looked at me and folded her arms like she expected me to make a fuss.
But I was too tired to make a fuss.
“Maybe one day you’ll finally be driving his truck around town.”
A humorless laugh escaped me as I rubbed at my eyes. “That doesn’t seem likely.”
“You never know.”
To be honest, I hardly thought about the truck anymore. And once I knew my mom was going to be okay, Shelby had taken more space in my brain. Her presence in my life had lit something inside of me, and that light made it hard to hold onto the dark. To hatred. It almost felt like I was cheating on my anger, feeling that way. The anger that had kept me company for so many years. There was so much time and energy involved in hating someone. And that part of me was now at war with the part that wanted nothing more than to go home and eat popcorn and watch movies on my couch, a tiny blonde on one arm and a pretty redhead on the other.
That idea seemed far more pressing than holding onto grief from so long ago.
So instead, I told her I’d support whatever she wanted to do. And then I held her hand and allowed myself to feel grateful she was still here. At least, grateful until she began teasing me about Shelby holding my hand when we visited her right after the accident.
“How are things with you two?”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t play dumb with me. There’s something different about you two.”
I stole a bite of her contraband candy bar I had smuggled in. “You were half delirious when you saw us that day.”
“I could be half dead, but I’d still know with absolute certainty that you’re in love with your best friend.”
My eyes flicked over to hers. She met my gaze with that knowing, annoying warmth that only a mom could do.
“I think it’s your nap time, old lady,” I said lightly.
“Have you told her?”
“Soph’s crying again,” I said, halfway standing up. “I’ve gotta go.”
“Jake, I almost died! You have to stay here and talk to me.” She laughed, gripping my hand and forcing me back into my seat.
“Have you told her?” she asked.
Denial was no longer possible. The downside of not having any other siblings. My mom had all the time in the world to zero in on me.
“No.”
“Why?”
“She’s moving next week. She just interviewed for a big photographer position forWild HorizonMagazine.”
“So?”
“So, I…I’m not going to ruin that for her. She’s been wanting out of Eugene forever. She deserves this.”
“How would you ruin it?”
“I’m not going to be what holds her back.” There was a flash of heat in my eyes, and I moved my focus to the movement of her heart monitor.
“So you’re not going to tell her?”
“I want to see if she gets the job. If I tell her now, she’ll give it all up for me.”
“Why do you say that?” she asked softly.