Chapter Fourteen
Irina
It takes me a moment to realize that Simone is standing beside us.
“She drugged me,” I explain. “She wanted to kill me. Get me out of the way.”
Nikolai turns to Simone with a deadly look in his eye. “You were going to kill my wife?”
“She sent a man to do it. George was his name. But I managed…” I stare down at my hands. My bloody hands. I killed a man. Yes it was self-defense but it’s still shocking.
Nikolai grabs Simone by the throat. “What is fucking wrong with you? I told you we were over. You should have gotten it through your head.”
“Are you going to kill me?” she asks.
“I can’t have you coming after my wife again. I will protect her no matter what.” And right before my very eyes, Nikolai snaps Simone’s neck. I gasp as she falls to the ground… dead.
“You actually killed her,” I breathe out. It’s the first time I’ve seen Nikolai take a human life. He wanted to protect me from death but now I’m entrenched in it.
“To protect you.” He gives me a wary look. “Are you afraid of me?”
Nikolai found me. He came to save me. He killed for me.
“No,” I answer honestly. “I’m not afraid of you. Not anymore.”
“I’ll handle the bodies. Let’s just get you home where you can be safe.” Nikolai picks me up into his arms. “Are you hurt?”
“It’s not my blood.”
He nods, fully understanding the situation. This isn’t his first time with death.
Nikolai gets me back home and brings me into the bathroom. “You should take a bath. Wash away the blood. I’ll take care of you, baby.”
I’m shaking too much to get my clothes off so Nikolai helps me. I get naked before him but it’s not a sexual moment. It’s a moment of care. Of protectiveness.
He helps me into the bath. The water grows red from the blood but at least it’s leaving my body. Leaving my hands.
“I killed a man,” I whisper. “I never knew I had it in me.”
“It was self-defense. He was trying to kill you.”
“I know. But I still did it. I stabbed him. Two times. I only had to do it once but I chose to stab him again. I had to make sure he was dead. That he couldn’t hurt me again.”
“Look at me, baby.” He grabs my face gently between his strong hands. “You had to do what you had to do. I don’t blame you for that and you shouldn’t blame yourself either.”
“But I’m a killer now. Like you. And I judged you for it. I feared you for it.”
“You’re not a killer like me. I’ve killed because it’s my job. Because some people have to face the consequences of their actions. Some people have messed with me, like Simone did tonight, and deserved to die. But you killed in self-defense which is something I’ve never done before. You’re still a good person, Irina. It’s the reason I care for you. I don’t want you to be drowned in darkness like I am.”
“But I get it now,” I say. “I get how you can kill.”
“What exactly are you saying?”
“I’m saying… you’ve never done that to me. You’ve never made me feel so afraid like I couldn’t breathe. I thought for sure I was going to die tonight. But I fought. I realized that I don’t have to fear you. That I don’t have to hate you. That I can care for you. That I can –”love you. I stop myself from saying the next part. Neither me nor Nikolai are ready for that yet.
He slowly nods. “You’ve never had to fear me. I will never put you in the position you were in tonight. I will always make sure you’re safe. So why did you run from me?”
“Because I was so angry over you and my father working together. I just needed space. But I’m starting to see just how dangerous your life is. How I’m much safer when I stand at your side. I won’t run again, I promise. I never should have.”