“You grew up too soon, Houston. You became a man way before other boys did, because you had to. You took care of me and your sister, and I’m grateful to you for that. You’re the best son a mother could ask for, and I love you.”
Houston felt his throat close up and he swallowed hard. He’d tried to take care of his mom and Kori, had hoped he’d done all right, but he hadn’t been much more than a determined kid when his father had left.
“But you don’t need to take care of us anymore. Kori and I are fine. It’s time for you to take care of yourself.” Her head swung towards the surf and she smiled. “And maybe take care of someone else.”
“What do you mean?” He forced the words past his lips, which felt frozen despite the pounding sun.
“She’s in love with you, you know.”
“Bullshit.” The word flew off his tongue, the pain in his chest more pronounced as he looked out again at Josie, who had Miranda on her shoulders in the water.
He wasn’t deserving of love from Josie. He hadn’t done anything to earn it, and she was sweet and kind and he was just going through the motions in life.
“So many swear words from you lately, it’s ugly,” his mother reprimanded. “And don’t bother arguing, you know it’s true. And I know if you think about it, you’ll recognize you feel the same way.”
Did he? No. He liked Josie, he cared about her. He wanted to have sex with her for seventeen consecutive days, but he did not love her.
He didn’t think. Hell, maybe he did. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He didn’t know a damn thing about loving a woman.
“She’d be good for you. Help you relax. You were always so serious, and that’s my mother’s guilt. It’s my fault.”
“It’s not your fault, don’t say that! And there’s nothing wrong with the way I am.” Nothing wrong with being a lonely workaholic.
Houston wiped sweat off his upper lip, cursing againthat he couldn’t go in the water to cool off, and shook his head. “Just because you’re suddenly in love with Larry doesn’t mean the whole world needs to be paired off. There’s nothing serious between Josie and I.”
And if he said it out loud, maybe he’d believe it.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Josie balanced Miranda’s slippery four-year-old body on her back and made her way to where Houston and his mother were sitting talking. She bent over and pretended to shake Miranda off, who squealed in delight, before setting her down in Kori’s lap.
“Whew, you wore me out, kiddo.”
Fran stood up. “I think I’ll go check on Larry and Abby.”
Josie raised an eyebrow at Houston as his mother walked towards the water. “Did I drive her away?”
“No.” He patted the chair next to him. “Sit next to me. I think she just wants to be with Larry. They’re getting married, she has informed me.”
Given the sour look on his face, this wasn’t happy news. “Oh?” Josie moved around Sara, who had settled back on her towel with a paperback book, all plans of chasing down single men apparently forgotten. “How do you feel about that?”
Houston looked hot and uncomfortable as the sun crept higher in the sky. The arch of his wide shoulders and his chest were glistening with sweat, and the tips of his black bristly hair were damp.
“It doesn’t matter how I feel.”
That was a typical Houston answer but it disappointed her nonetheless. She wanted him to trust her, to confide in her, and it just wasn’t happening. She tugged her cover-up shirt lower so that none of her thighs were showing and fought off a sigh.
“Why are you wearing that baggy T-shirt?” he asked, plucking at the hem with his finger.
“Because.” Several explanations ran through her mind, about how it was a shield from him so her nipples wouldn’t harden, and how it gave her a false sense of a barrier between them, but that made her feel too vulnerable. Instead, she gave the simplest explanation. “I burn easily.”
“Liar,” he murmured under his breath.
“It’s not a lie. I’m pale, as you can clearly see.” Then she changed the subject to one he wouldn’t want to discuss anymore than she did her mixed up emotions. “Are you getting your stitches out on Monday?”
Being that close to his leg, she had noticed the wounds had healed nicely.
“Yes.” He turned his leg a little and inspected it. “I can’t wait. The sutures have been driving me crazy for the last two days. I thought about taking them out myself, but I can’t reach the ones in the back.” He frowned. “Besides, I’m not that great with my left hand.”