He couldn’t think about it. His hand had to heal. There just wasn’t any other option.
Without his career, there was nothing left.
Surfing, his only other solace, was beyond his abilities right now as well.
All he was capable of was sitting here and watching the water. Watching Josie.
Miranda splashed Josie, who shrieked and covered her face.
Josie was still wearing her bulky T-shirt but the water had drenched it until it clung to her, outlining a bikini top hugging those lush breasts. He knew her breasts, had tasted them, touched them, and he wanted her the way he always did. Fierce and demanding and unrelenting.
His mother waved her hand in front of her face. “Whew, it’s hot.”
He grunted. He didn’t want to talk to his mother. He just wanted to be left alone to brood and feel sorry for himself.
She patted his arm. “Why are you frowning? It ruins your pretty face.”
He raised his eyebrow. Only his mother would think pretty was a compliment to a man. “I want to be in the water and I’m stuck on the beach.”
That was the truth. Part of it, anyway. No need to mention the rest. That he was warring with himself and his desire for Josie.
“Ah. I see. The cute little Josie plays in the water without you. You’d rather play with her than sit with your mother.”
Now how had his mom figured that out?
“I meant surfing.”
His mother, who looked incredible for her sixty-two years, adjusted the strap on her black bathing suit and gave him a look. The don’t-give-me-that-load-of-you-know-what look. “Don’t lie to your mother, Houston, it’s a sin.”
It wouldn’t be a wise idea to delve into all the ways he might have sinned with Josie.
He turned and studied his mother. “So what’s the story with you and Larry?”
The question got quite a reaction. She bit her lip, adjusted her hat, took a deep breath, then put her hand on his arm again. That hand scared him.
“Honey, I’m going to marry Larry.”
“What?” He sat up straighter and gaped at her. “But you said you’d never get married again after my father.”
That hand stroked softly and he felt something way beyond alarm. This was not what he wanted to hear, not when everything in his life was changing, morphing, shaking him up and twisting his realities around.
“I thought that I wouldn’t, but that was a long time ago. I’ve forgiven your father, moved on.”
“You shouldn’t forgive him. He doesn’t deserve it. He treated you like shit, every single day you were married, and he can never make that up to you,” he said in a harsh whisper, conscious of Josie’s friend three feet away from him.
But his mother just shook her head under her big-ass floppy hat that made him feel like he was talking to a 1950s film star. Or an Italian Joan Collins. He’d never seen her wear anything like that before and it bothered him that everything was changing.
“What your father did to me was wrong and I was glad when he finally left. But I decided years ago it’s not worth carrying anger around with me over it. I feel sorry for Hal. He’s bitter, alone, full of hate, and I’m happy, with the greatest children and grandchildren a woman could ask for. My life is full of love, and Larry has added to that.”
She pinned him with a stare, her dark eyes just a touch vulnerable. “I want you to be happy for me.”
That hit him in the gut. “Of course I’m happy for you. Mom, if this is what you want.” Even if it was a guy named Larry.
“I want you to let go of all that anger, too, Houston. Until you do, your father still controls your life.” She leaned closer to him and cupped his cheek.
He remembered being so short he only came up to her waist, how she would hug him to her hard, tell him how much she loved him. How she’d apologize for his father’s behavior, let him know that she loved him too much to ever let him walk in his father’s footsteps. That he was better.
And here, on the beach, with her familiar rose scent wrapping around him, he still saw the worry in her eyes. It made shame cling to him like the sticky beach chair.