I ran my tongue over my teeth. “I forget English people are so innocent when it comes to weapons.”
“I’m motherfucking Irish. And I don’t make the laws.”
“You shape the culture, though. On the street. In the underworld.”
Cam’s expression darkened. “If we carry guns,theycarry guns, and there’s more chance of a brother losing his life. Or a kid getting caught in the crossfire. If that’s a culture we’ve avoided by being dinosaurs, I’m here for it.”
“You are a noble man.”
“I’m a fucking fool, Lexi. It never occurred to me that anyone with half a brain would want to avenge Frank Crow. I should’ve gone to Rocco in the first place. Backed him up so this bunch of cunts couldn’t ride in and do whatever they’ve done to him.”
“Rocco’s children are safe. Decoy texted Nash while we were driving home.”
“They aren’t safe from anything ever again if their dad’s been whacked.”
“Where is Saint?”
The abrupt change of subject made Cam blink. “Would you believe me if I told you he’d gone home to feed the birds?”
“Yes.”
“Good. It’s true, and I wanted him to go in daylight, seeing as he never lets anyone go with him.”
“He likes his privacy, no?”
“Maybe. I’ve stopped trying to figure out who he is. It doesn’t matter. As long as he’s happy and healthy, he can do whatever the fuck he wants.”
Happy. Healthy.
Alive. I could not say why that word resonated in my head, a warning echo that thundered in my ears, blood roaring, but it did. I snatched a breath and dug my fingers into Cam’s wrists hard enough that he hissed and tightened his arms around me. “Easy. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Alexei—”
I lurched out of his embrace and scrambled to the window.
Cam followed, but I evaded his touch, gaze fixed on the blue skies this strange winter day had become.Something is out there. But where wasthere? In Whitness? In the Crow territory that I had just left? In the fields surrounding Saint’s campsite home? “Tell him to come back.”
Cam stepped in front of me, blocking the window from my view. “Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“For real?” Cam’s gaze hardened and he threaded his arms across his chest. “Or is there something you’re not telling me?”
“There are a thousand things I have not told you, Cam.”
“About this? About Saint? Is he in more danger than I know?”
“I don’t know.”
His control snapped. He grabbed my shoulders and shook me. “Tell me,” he growled. “Whatever it is I need to know, fucking tell me now, so I can keep him safe.”
“I do notknow,” I forced. “It is a feeling, not a fact. That’s all it is.”
Cam invaded the last of my personal space. He brought his forehead to mine but without the affection that so often seeped from the primal gesture. “I don’t believe you.”
I struggled to catch my breath, not from the fierceness of his grip, but from the violence of emotion I could not comprehend. I felt sick, acid boiling up my throat and I tried to push Cam away, but he held me tight, drilling into my soul with his depthless gaze. “Let me go.”