Rami frowned. “That’s a reach. You don’t think it’s more likely that you’re good at what you do? Thatyourhelp has proved more invaluable than anyone else’s?”
“Why would it be that? I don’t do anything special.”
“Maybe that’s the point. You’re a quiet man. Some people appreciate that more than someone getting up in their face.”
Distantly, Dante knew it was true—that Sid liked having him around because he didn’t interfere or nag him about taking better care of himself the way Anna did. But the reality still remained that Sid accepted Dante’s help because he had to—it was literally his job.It’s not your job to sleep in his bed, though, is it?Not that Dante had done much sleeping. In the rare moments Sid had slept calmly, Dante had found himself too wired to close his eyes, angels and demons fighting for dominance—the angel being Sid in the woods, and the demon being Dante, the shadow lurking behind. “I don’t deserve how nice he is to me,” he blurted.
Damn it. Shut up.
But it was too late. Rami heard and dissected the words in the three seconds it took for Dante to wish the carpet tiles would open up and swallow him whole.
“Okay,” Rami said. “Let’s unpick that. Why do you think you don’t deserve a good working relationship with Sid?”
Dante shrugged, the insolence he’d arrived with returning and shrouding him like armour.
“You had good relationships in prison,” Rami said.
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did. Your personal officer liked you a lot and fought hard for you to get a place on this scheme. Other officers and teachers spoke up for you too. Why would they do that if you didn’t deserve it?”
“To get rid of me?”
Rami shook his head. “That’s not how it works. Those people cared about you and wanted to see you succeed. To be happy and settled and safe. Why is it so hard to believe that Sid wants the same for you?”
“I do believe it. That’s not my point.”
“Your point is thatyoudon’t believe it, of yourself, despite the fact you’ve spent the last few years working so hard to get to this point.Youeducated yourself, Dante. You bettered yourself when it would’ve been the easiest thing in the world to stay in your cell and do the opposite. Or worse, continued the activities you’d been involved in on the outside. You didn’t do that, and I know you paid a price for it—becauseyou believed it was worth it. That you were worth it. What’s changed?”
“Are you done?” Dante said dryly.
“I could go on all day,” Rami retorted. “Tell me what’s really bothering you and I’ll stop.”
Dante had no fucking clue. Words tumbled in his brain, but none made it out. He shook his head. “I—I just, I don’t know. I just don’t know how to do it.”
“Do what?”
“Be nice. Be normal. Sid makes it look so easy, but I don’t know how to do simple things. That’s why I’m good at helping him when he’s sick—because what he needs is obvious... you know? If he stumbles, I don’t let him fall.”
“That seems a good place to start.”
“It’s not enough.”
“Enough for what?”
Dante sighed. “I don’t know that either. Are we done here?”
“Not yet.”
Awesome. Dante turned his gaze to the window. The sun was shining fiercely, leaving a haze over the grimy pavements, and Dante couldn’t help but worry that Sid was working in the heat alone.I should be with him.
Rami said something.
Dante turned back to him. “What?”
“I want you to tell me some of the nice things Sid does for you.”
“Why?”