“You didn’t sleep the entire time we worked together. Don’t blame London.”
There was mirth in Rhys’s light ribbing, but his words hit home. Because they were true. His life was one I wasn’t built to lead, and pushing myself to try had fucked me up so bad I’d run all the way to India to put myself back together.
More faces appeared in the kitchen, some I recognised, some I didn’t. None of them were Toby. I drummed my fingers on the table. Rhys reached out and stilled them. I scowled. “Stop trying to hold my hand.”
Rhys grinned and clutched at me. “You know you want me to.”
I curled my spare fist to slog him one.
Toby walked in from outside, dark hair all over the show, cheeks flushed from the wind. For the first time in days, his brown eyes were all mine. But the moment was fleeting. He glanced between me and Rhys, grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl, and left.
No one seemed to notice him. But I did. I saw him and felt him in every nerve I possessed, and I was out of my chair before I truly knew what I was doing.
I dipped out of the kitchen and into the stable yard. Toby was nowhere to be seen, and I spun a slow circle, cursing myself for not familiarising myself with the farm’s layout before now. I’d spent all my time at the cottage, the clinic, or the main house, and the consequences of that were I had no fucking idea where Toby could’ve gone.
“Dude, what are you even doing?”
Rhys was behind me. I glared at him again. “Looking for Toby.”
“Why?”
Because he looked upset and it was probably my fault because I kissed him and let it scare him.I bit my tongue. Rhys pushed past me to walk to his car. “Well, whatever it is, make sure it’s something you can defend, cos if you fuck with that boy in any way whatsoever, Joe will kill you in your sleep.”
I didn’t know Rhys well enough anymore to gauge if he was joking, but I hoped he remembered me enough to know I wasn’t in the business of fucking with anyone. “It’s not like that.”
“Uh-huh.” Rhys opened his car door. “I’m sure it’s not, but I can’t think of a reason why Toby would be so freaked by me holding your hand that won’t get you in a whole heap of trouble, so try and put a smile on his face, yeah?”
He drove off before I formulated an answer, and I watched him depart with conflicted sentiments. On the one hand, I saw his point about Joe. On the other, it was none of his fucking business. Toby wasn’t a boy, he was a man, and if he wanted to get lairy about someone else touching me, let him. Fighting emotions—however misplaced—never worked. Acceptance and understanding were far healthier.
If only I understood Toby.
* * *
Toby
“I knew you weren’t going to eat that.”
Cole’s low voice sent shivers down my spine. After days of blocking him out, my defences crumbled like ash. I felt him everywhere—my skin, my lips, my jaw where he’d cupped it with his heated palm. It was as if a lifetime had passed, and yet no time at all.
I kept my gaze on the fairy lights I was stringing across the barn. “Eat what?”
“The banana.”
“Have it if you want.”
“Nah. I don’t like them either.”
“Take it for Ella then. Babies eat bananas, right?”
“She’d rather wear them, but yeah. They do.”
“All right then.”
I waited for him to leave—Ineededhim to leave, for the sake of my sanity.
But he didn’t leave. He let loose a long-suffering sigh and hoisted himself onto the bar about three metres to my left. “What is this place?”
“Event venue. Weddings, mostly. There’s one this weekend.”