Needing space, I stood and paced the small room. I felt Cole’s gaze follow me, but I didn’t look at him.Beer, we need beer.I wondered if Cole had been shopping yet. If he even knew where to go. And why it bothered me so much that he might not.
Cole rose from the couch and left the room. I listened to him move around the kitchen while I stared at the only personal touch he’d bestowed on the room, aside from Ella’s travel cot in the corner. It was a photograph of a beach that definitely wasn’t Cornish. Cole was on the pristine white sand, body arched into a stretch I couldn’t contemplate without wincing.Damn, he’s flexible.
“Yoga retreat in Goa.” Cole handed me a mug of what smelt suspiciously like the pond-water tea Harry drank. “The first time I’d ever taken a trip by myself.”
“You went alone?”
“Yup. It was what I needed at the time. These days I’m alone so much, I’m not quite sure what I was thinking back then.”
“You’re lonely.”
Cole hummed his apparent agreement to a statement I hadn’t meant to utter aloud. “It’s my own fault. I push people away.”
“Why?”
“Habit. Maybe. I don’t really know.”
“If it’s any consolation, I don’t even know where Goa is. And I’ve never been further than Reading.”
“You’ve never been to London?”
“Nope. And I don’t want to. City life isn’t for me.”
“No, it’s not.” Cole tilted his head sideways. “You’re better than that.”
“I didn’t mean there was anything wrong with it.”
“I know. Goa is in India, by the way. In the south-west.”
“You could tell me it was in China and I’d believe you.”
Cole grinned a little. “Would you believeanythingI told you?”
“Of course. Why would you lie?”
“Why does anyone lie?”
The conversation was becoming more complicated than I was cut out for. I sipped the tea Cole had brought me and tried not to pull a face like a twelve-year-old eating brussels sprouts. Cole stared at the photograph for a long moment before he turned away and shook himself.
“Sorry. I don’t mean to be so intense.”
“I don’t mind. We are who we are.”
“And who are you?”
Cole seemed nearer than he’d been just moments ago. I swallowed, my mouth suddenly a desert. The tea mug burned my palm. I set it down and snatched a sharp breath. “I... uh...”
I had no words. My mind was a blank canvas, lit up only by the fact that he was a heartbeat away from me and I had no idea if he’d moved or I’d unconsciously drifted closer, drawn to him in ways I’d never been drawn to anyone. I licked my lips. Cole’s eyes tracked my tongue. At least, it felt that way. As ever, I had even less of a clue what he was thinking than I did myself. And for once, I didn’t want to know. I just wanted to stare at him and pretend that if I leaned in further and our lips brushed, it would be as brand new for him as it was for me.
“Toby.”
“Hmm?”
Cole blew out a breath and closed his hands around my wrists. He rubbed them up and down my forearms. The contact was soothing but did nothing to calm my racing pulse. Or to put any distance between us. I wanted to kiss him so much Iached. And he was so close. Just an inch more and it would happen. I felt his breath on my cheek, his chest touched mine, and then his lips, so soft at first I thought I’d imagined it.
Then sensation hit, and it was mind-blowing. I swayed on my feet and only Cole’s grip on me kept me upright on my wobbly legs. His kiss was velvet and firm and sweet, and I couldn’t take it. He cupped my face with one hand, his thumb stroking my cheek, and every synapse in my brain exploded.
Too much. Too much.