I’m not gonna ask you to take care of my family. I know you will. I know you’ll teach my boy what it really means to be brave, what it means to be a man, and I know you’ll see Livvy right.
You know where the cash from Vegas is, don’t you? Course ya do. That night was wild, and Christmas in Berlin? Best days of my life, man….
I’m drifting, and running out of time and paper, so I’m gonna nag on your ass one last time.
I know something’s wrong. You’re not yourself, and you haven’t been for weeks, months, I don’t even know. You’re tired, we all are, but it’s more than that. Something’s eating away at you, dragging you down and making those broad, gay shoulders slump.
You’re not gonna tell me. I get that, and I guess it’s too late for that now, anyway. But tell someone. Please. You’ve carried people your whole damn life. Let someone help you, before you realize you’ve run outta time to make shit right.
Fuck anything else, Jed. You’re the best friend, CO… damn, you’re the best dude I’ve ever known.
See you in the next life,
P
Chapter Sixteen
THEDRYpads of Flo’s paws connected with Max’s cheek. Annoyed, he clenched his eyes shut and batted her away. It was the third night in a row he’d fallen asleep on the couch, and the third night she’d woken him up.
Flo pawed him again, whining long and low until he reluctantly peeled his eyes open. “What? Can’t you tell I’m asleep?”
Her stare was solemn, but not unduly distressed. Max checked himself for signs of a seizure, but found none. “See? I’m fine. Go away.”
Undeterred, Flo tugged on the sleeve of his hooded sweatshirt. She wanted him up.
Irritated, Max gave in and sat up. He stared at the collie, tilting his head to one side. “What’s up, girl?”
Satisfied he was awake, she padded away. Max followed her, knowing she’d only come back and bug him if he didn’t. She stopped by the back door. He let her out, wondering sleepily if there were some night fishermen out on the lake, but judging by the lashing rain, he doubted it.
He leaned on the doorframe, expecting Flo to bound away and investigate whatever had disturbed her. She didn’t, and when he belatedly checked the porch, he saw why. “Jed?”
Jed didn’t respond. He was sitting on the wooden deck in the rain, his eyes fixed on something Max couldn’t see.
Max touched Jed’s shoulder. He was freezing. Dressed only in jeans and a thin T-shirt, he was soaked to the skin. “Jed? You okay?”
Silence. For an unending moment, Max feared Jed wouldn’t respond at all, then he turned his head and Max’s heart sank. Something was wrong,reallywrong. He crouched down and held out his hand. “Jed, come on. It’s bloody arctic out here, and you’re wet through.”
Jed glanced around, as though he’d just become aware of his surroundings. He blinked and took Max’s outstretched hand. Max slipped an arm under Jed’s shoulders and helped him to his feet, careful not to jar his injured leg, and once upright, Jed seemed to come back into himself.
Max released him and pointed again to the back door. “Let’s go inside.”
Jed preceded him inside, sank onto a kitchen chair, and began untying his boots. His usually deft fingers fumbled, numb from the cold, and Max considered helping, but something warned him off. Instead, he made his way to the bathroom and turned the shower on full blast. He left the water to heat up and went to Jed’s room, where he retrieved dry sweats and a T-shirt from the dresser.
Jed was up by the time he got back, standing by the kitchen sink, rubbing absently at his left hip. Max handed him the stack of dry clothes. “Shower’s on. Go warm up.”
He half expected Jed to snap out of his daze, to laugh and toss the clothes back in his face, but he didn’t. He took the bundle and disappeared down the hall.
Max drifted restlessly around the cabin while Jed was in the bathroom, wiping up Flo’s muddy paw prints and then making tea he was fairly sure Jed wouldn’t drink. He set the blue donkey mug Tess had given Jed for Christmas down on Jed’s nightstand and went to his own room to change. As had become his habit in recent days, he’d fallen asleep in his clothes.
He undressed slowly, taking his time to avoid loitering by the bathroom door. Jed had been MIA for eight long days, and though it was painfully obvious he’d had a heavy week of his own, he’d missed a lot: Frank’s funeral, an epic meltdown from Nick. Even the New Year had come and gone.
The shower shut off. Max pulled a T-shirt over his head and waited for the bathroom door to open before he ventured down the hall to Jed’s room.
He paused in the doorway, observing Jed, who sat bare-chested on the edge of his bed, his tired gaze cast down, and a T-shirt clutched in both hands. A swathe of moonlight shone through the window, casting an eerie light over him and the marbled burn on his shoulder. Drops of water clung to his skin from the shower, and other than being shirtless, he didn’t look much different from the freezing, rain-soaked state Max had found him in on the porch.
A long moment passed before Max found the courage to cross the room. He took the shirt from Jed’s hands and put it back on the dresser. “You still look freezing. Get into bed.”
“Hmm?” Jed raised his head, his hooded eyes so dazed Max wondered for a moment if he was drunk.