Ira stepped closer, and it was all she could do to take the next breath. He was too close, and she was too vulnerable.
“If anyone should be mad, it should be me,” he said. “You made me feel like I was losing my mind. Do you realize how much of an ass I thought I was this whole time? I knew the night at the ball that something had changed, not just the promise of magic, but you. The moment I saw you and heard your sharp tongue, I was yours, but then when I came to Blythe, everything was wrong. I’d been so sure, but Brielle was kind and sweet, but she wasn’t- wasn’t you. Midnight, I felt like an ass constantly drawn to you, wondering if I could have Noah hanged for treason for just committing the crime of being near you, all the while I was engaged to someone else.”
I was yours.
There were so many things to take away from his fast-paced speech, but her mind snagged on those three words. Nurtured them and memorized them. Her feet were paralyzed, glued to the cave floor, destined to stay there forevermore.
“The night of the engagement dinner, I couldn’t do it any longer. Even if it made me a terrible person, I couldn’t lie to Brielle anymore, and I couldn’t pretend like I wasn’t in love with you. But Brielle got sick and- when she told me the truth, it was like I could finally take a full breath.”
In love with you.
Her brain continued to snag on only a few words and miss the rest. Words that made no sense. Words that carved themselves into her heart and marked her soul.
Releasing her strand of hair and finger finally, Ira ran his hand through his hair and let out a shaky breath.
“You look like you might be sick. I swear I planned on confessing in a more charming and well-thought-out romantic setting. We were going to get the flower, save Brielle, and then I was going to come clean. You would have time to- I don’t know,just time, I suppose. But just now, when you pulled away, I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t pretend any longer. It’s killing me.”
Once Luci’s mind was able to work through problems and was efficient in its functioning. Now it was as fixated as Calcifer when he knew it was lunch time, but no lunch appeared. She was incapable of coherent thought.
“Please say something, anything,” Ira begged.
Yes, words. She could say words.
“Brielle told you,” she said.
Ira blew out a long breath and ran his hand over his face, lingering over his chin as he fought for something.
“She did. I can’t help but feel like this all could have been avoided with a simple explanation. I know her father is not the easiest man, and you are forever stubborn. I understand her logic even if I don’t agree with it.”
“Her logic?” Luci asked.
What even was logic?
Ira sighed. “I suppose that’s hers to tell when we get back. If you want, we can pretend that this conversation never happened. I never admitted anything.”
Luci let loose a distinctly unladylike snort.
“I don’t think that’s how it works.”
In truth, she could never unabsorb his words. They were a part of her now.
He was watching her much like someone concerned for an injured animal. Like he might have spooked her, and her heart might stop at any moment. Funny, though, because that was an awful lot like how she felt.
Unsure of what was up and what was down, Luci turned to pick up her bag and did the only thing that was left to do.
She started walking up the mountain path.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, she was aware of Ira following her, but she was too busy fighting the furious storm taking place inside of her.
Brielle told him, and he knew. He knew it was her the night of the ball. He was jealous of Noah. He- nope, she wasn’t ready to remember those other words.
The cave was the same as the day before, but remarkably, her legs didn’t hurt, probably because the ache in her head was louder than anything else. After all, how had she even gotten to this moment? There was a lot of crying last night and this morning, feeling safe. Maybe it was all just a terrible coincidence. A series of events lining up to create perfect mayhem. As the path began to narrow and the river fought to maintain its existence, Luci stopped.
It was sudden and without warning, causing Ira to crash into her, but she refused to acknowledge what his body felt like against hers. She was herself again. There were no secrets except the truths she refused to give life to. She didn’t have to pretend.
“Turn around,” she ordered.
Sometimes she wondered if he had forgotten he was a prince in line for the throne with how easily he agreed to things. Sure enough, he turned to face the cave wall.