She counted the rise and fall of his chest. One, two, three. Memorized the way his lips pressed together softly, like he didn’t have a care in the world. She followed the trail of his jaw, and because she was incapable of stopping herself, she ran her finger over his cheekbones, wondering at how his skin could be so soft beneath her fingertips.
He wasn’t hers to keep, and even in a cave beneath a mountain, the sun still rose. She pulled her hands away, but before she could regret her resolve, he grabbed her hand and placed it back on his cheek. Luci’s heart stuttered in her chest. Feeling caught between a child sneaking into a cookie jar and a woman paralyzed by want, she sucked in a breath.
She tried to pull away, but Ira held her hand in place, covered by his own. Green eyes watched her, waiting. No pretense at sleep now. Breaths once even now irregular and catching.
Maybe if he teased her or cajoled her, she might have been able to remove herself and find freedom at the other side of the cave, but he didn’t. He merely watched her, somewhere between a challenge and a patient, waiting like he’d been waiting for her this whole time.
“This is wrong,” she said quietly.
“Why?” he asked.
His voice was gravelly and deep, sending a tendril of energy through her. Wrong. Wrong. This was all wrong.
“You are engaged,” she said, finally finding her resolve.
Later, she would need to chastise herself thoroughly for taking so long. He was engaged to her best friend. The woman responsible for the only happiness Luci had ever known, and this was how she repaid her. The worst part was that Brielle would forgive her even when Luci didn't deserve it in the least.
Having enough of her traitorous activity, Luci tried to pull away, but he gripped her hand tighter, refusing to let her free.
“I’m not,” he said, and there was a lilt to his voice that felt almost like pleading.
It was the worst thing he could have said. Suddenly, she didn’t just feel like a traitor; she felt like a fool. She’d spent so long thinking he wasn’t like other people, like other rich nobility, that he was somehow different.
Ripping her hand away, she got to her feet and let the rage she felt burn away everything that came before. This anger felt better than wanting, and she nurtured the flame, letting it kindle and set fire to all the misplaced affection she’d been hiding.
“Luci, let me-” he said, behind her.
Whirling around, she pointed a finger at him.
“How could you? I thought you were different, but you're just like the rest of them. Midnight, I’m so stupid. I fell for your charm and sincerity just like all the girls before me, but it wasn’t sincerity, just calculation. Why even come on this ridiculous quest if you thought she wasn’t-” The words choked her, but she made herself keep going because if she stopped for even a moment, it would hurt worse. “Did you think I’d be fine with it? That I would forget her? Was it all for a laugh? Look at the stupid servant falling for a prince- Well, I hope you all have a great laugh over it. I hope-”
“Lucinda!” Ira said, pinching the bridge of her nose like she was giving him a headache.
What a monumental jerk. Likeshewas the problem and not some traitorous backstabbing prince. Smoke coming out of her ears, Lucinda Blackthorn stalked toward him and jabbed her finger into his chest, glaring with every ounce of her soul.
“You are a pig and I-”
“I’m not engaged because Brielle broke the engagement!” he shouted, gripping her finger so she couldn’t get another jab in.
“And you let her?” Luci said, stepping forward and trying to retrieve her finger. “She was dying and was trying to be self-sacrificing!”
He blew out a frustrated breath. “She told me the truth, Lucinda. I know this is fake. I know you both lied. Iknowwho you are.”
The world went still the moment he lifted a strand of black hair from her shoulder and declared it fake. It shuddered and cracked when he said they lied. But it spun again when he said the last part. One strand of hair in his hand, and his other wrapped around her finger.
This was far worse than being caught stealing dessert. He knew. He’d known. For days, he’d known. She’d been walking around with painted black hair and a heart full of secrets, and he’d known. The words kept repeating in her head, and all she wanted to do was run far away and hide.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” she asked.
Strange, she wasn’t worried about the treason aspect anymore. More so, she felt a vulnerability that crawled over her skin and threatened to eat her whole. He knew. She wasn’t just Lucinda anymore. She was the woman who danced with him and snuck away into libraries and glass rooms. She wasn’t just a servant in over her head; she was the cinderella.
Ira didn’t release her, but instead ran his eyes over her, searching.
“You are remarkably stubborn. I thought you would run; in fact, I’m half-certain you might right now,” he said.
How funny, because her legs itched to do just that, but now she couldn’t on principle. She needed to move. To put distance between them, but it was like her body didn’t know how to do what her mind screamed to do.
“I-” she tried, but whatever she wanted to say was lost to the panic in her chest.