"I love you." Easier the second time. Still terrifying. "I loved you when I left. I loved you when I watched from a distance. I loved you when I had no right to, when I should have let go, when staying away was the only thing I could give you." I press my forehead to hers. "I never stopped."
She kisses me. Soft. Salt-tinged. Not leading anywhere, just contact. Just us.
When she pulls back, her eyes are heavy.
"I do not want to think anymore," she says quietly. "I just want to be here. With you."
"Then be here."
She pulls me toward the bed. We fall onto it together, still clothed, covers bunched beneath us. She curls into my side, her head on my chest, her hand over my heart.
I hold her. Feel her breathing slow. Her weight going heavy against me.
She sleeps. First real sleep in weeks, maybe. I don't.
thirty-six
Angelina
Itake the chair beside Cole.
The team looks like they haven't slept in days, because most of them haven't. Kade sits at the head of the table, jaw tight, dark circles visible even under the harsh overhead lights. Damian leans against the far wall with his arms crossed. Vanessa hunches over her laptop while Asher sits beside her, their shoulders touching. Jax has sprawled in a chair with his leg bouncing a restless rhythm against the floor, and Xander's got his feet up on another chair, but his hands are tight on the armrests.
Miguel stands near Remy by the coffee station, still in scrubs from his last shift. Mira and Alina are with Chesca. Someone had to stay, and Alina volunteered before Mira could argue.
Kade doesn't waste time on preamble.
"Victoria Lockwood. Eight days in custody. Cooperative. Gave us Monroe, which led to the safe house, which led to Walsh." He pauses. "She also gave us fourteen dead judges."
"Fourteen that we know of." Damian's voice is flat. "She lost count."
Jax's leg stops bouncing.
"What are our options?" I ask.
"Three." Kade ticks them off. "Hand her to the FBI. Monroe's been removed, but his network might still have tendrils. Release her, and she's dead inside a week. Or we keep her. Protection in exchange for cooperation."
"We're talking about employing a serial killer." Xander's feet hit the floor.
"We're talking about a pharmaceutical expert who can identify unknown compounds in minutes, and she still has a communication channel to her handler." Kade's voice is flat. "The question is whether that's worth the moral cost."
"It's worth it to me."
Everyone looks at Vanessa.
She's staring at her hands, flat on the table, deliberately still.
"Last year." Her voice drops. "The neurotoxin."
The full story is something I've only pieced together from fragments, from the way certain topics make the team go silent.
"Vanessa." Asher's voice is gentle. A warning.
"No." She shakes her head. "She needs to hear this."
She looks at me.
"The compound was custom. Targeted to my neurochemistry. Someone knew about my ADHD, knew exactly how to shut down my dopamine pathways." She swallows. "Remy didn't recognize it. Nobody did."